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Pastor Locke Warns of Child Sex Trafficking Tunnels Under the White House


In a recent fiery sermon, Global Vision Bible Church Pastor Greg Locke warned viewers and parishioners that there are secret, child sex trafficking tunnels underneath the White House, which are full of young children - some living, and some dead.  Pastor Locke then claimed that “Joe Biden is a sex trafficking, demon-possessed mongrel, who's no better than the Pope, Oprah Winfrey, or Tom Hanks,” adding that God will also “expose Kamala Harris for the Jezebel demon she is - when he finally brings this whole house down.”

Gee whiz, so Joe Biden’s only been in office less than 6 months, and he’s already built a massive underground network of child sex trafficking tunnels under the White House?  Wow, that was indeed some really fast work.  Say what you want about all this, but you have to admit those Democrats really know how to get those infrastructure projects built fast.


Anyway, is it just me, or do an inordinate amount of these Trump-loving televangelist’s paranoid fantasies seem to revolve around “child sex trafficking?”  Now, not to judge, but my guess is that if his little tale about sex trafficking tunnels under the White House really were true, Locke would be the first to get himself detailed maps of all the tunnels - including info about which tunnels are the best.


Why, to the untrained eye, it might appear that for most of these evangelical wing-nuts, basically everyone they don’t like seems to be running some sort of a “child sex ring.”  Now, if I were Pastor Locke, I believe I’d be a wee-bit careful about all this name calling.  Keep trash-talking people like that, and you’re just asking to get space-lasered by "the Jews.”  Perhaps the good pastor ought to just stick to handling his snakes.

 

Now, I’m sure there are those of you who are wondering why God would put such a nut case like Pastor Locke in a position of influence where he can easily spread all his vile nonsense?  Well, let’s not forget that ever since Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey closed, there’s been an excess of clowns everywhere, looking for work and the truth is - it’s just not all that easy for a busy Supreme Being to find good help these days. 

 

Of course, as many of you know, people who’d make insane claims like this 50 years ago, would get locked up in the looney bin.  Today, these folks are all over cable TV and YouTube - raking in millions.  Great country America!  Anyway, I guess my only question is, when Pastor Locke was busy getting the word out about all this government child sex trafficking - how come he didn’t he warn us about Matt Gaetz?


Johnny Robish Comedy

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