Texas Republican Gohmert Asks if the Forest Service Can Change Earth’s Orbit

Texas Republican Gohmert Asks if the Forest Service Can Change Earth’s Orbit: During a recent House Natural Resources Committee hearing, Texas Republican congressman Louie Gohmert asked National Forest Service associate deputy chief Jennifer Eberlien, if it was possible for the Forest Service to alter the orbits of the moon or the Earth, as a way of combating climate change.

Interesting question indeed! Sounds like Gohmert must have been channeling his “inner Marjorie Taylor Greene” on that one. The fact is, the Forest Service has been way too busy raking all the forest floors in California - to devote any time to altering the orbits of the Earth and moon. Besides, shouldn’t that be a job for the Space Force?

And, while Rep. Gohmert’s question may sound “astronomically” stupid to some, I’m told it can actually be accomplished with the right tools and strategy. That, of course - would include obtaining one of Donald Trump’s magical sharpie pens, as well as asking everyone who lives in metropolitan Cleveland, to jump up and down as high as they possibly can - and all in unison.

Anyway, when you consider that Louie Gohmert is actually both an elected and voting member of the United States House of Representatives, it becomes rather difficult for someone to find exactly the right words to express how a question like this leaves one feeling about America’s future, although the term “doomed” certainly comes does to mind.

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Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Anti-Vax Newsmax Host Says Diseases are Supposed to Kill People

Conservative network Newsmax has been forced to “distance itself” from remarks uttered by host Rob Schmitt this week, who claimed that vaccines go "against nature" because diseases are "supposed to wipe out a certain amount of people,” and that vaccinations “unnaturally interfere with viruses' designs on killing people.” Wow, kinda looks like the “Schmitt” has really hit the fan over at Newsmax. So, they want to “distance” themselves from Schmitt’s remarks, do they? Gee, makes you wonder if the morons who run Newsmax know they actually have the option not hire anti-science nitwits like Schmitt as anchors in the first place? Not to worry though, should Schmitt get fired, I'm sure folks like Kevin McCarthy or Rand Paul would warmly welcome him to become part of their staffs. Of course, the truth is, what Schmitt is really promoting is “Social Darwinism.” Given that, I assume by the same logic he applies to vaccines, one may conclude that by warning people ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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