Florida Again Crushes Single Day Record for New Virus Cases with 22,783

The Miami Herald reported that Florida reported a record 22,783 new COVID-19 cases on Friday, its highest single-day case count since the pandemic began last year, as the state continues its record-breaking hospitalizations for the fifth straight day in a row. Meanwhile, the San Antonio Express-News torched the GOP governors of both Texas and Florida, for using their states' citizens as COVID guinea pigs in a political stunt, as the two Republican governors continue trying to outdo one another in prohibiting commonsense policies to contain the crisis.

That said, considering the insane number of unnecessary deaths as a direct result of their policies, some legal analysts are insisting these governors should be impeached, charged with negligent homicide, and arrested. Of course, given that it’s Florida and Texas, they’ll instead be overwhelmingly reelected. That’s because apparently, the majority of Texans and Floridians will vote Republican, simply to “own the Libs,” even if it kills them. And guess what? It turns out - it will!

I mean, if you’re a Texas or Florida real estate investor, now’s the time to buy up those vacant lots and convert them into cemeteries. That’s gonna be the next real estate boom. The Red States are quickly becoming the “Dead States.” Hell, Governors DeSantis and Abbott apparently feel the best strategy to win the White House in 2024, is to compete as to who can oversee killing the most people in their state.

Why, it’s actually getting to the point where the federal government may soon have to issue a travel advisory - “Vacation in Florida or Texas at your own risk.” Now, the only thing the Feds need to work out is which message is more urgent, warning travelers about the COVID risks - or the stupidity?

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Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles. In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.” When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now! Let’s get real. It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene. Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway. Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

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