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Florida Again Crushes Single Day Record for New Virus Cases with 22,783


The Miami Herald reported that Florida reported a record 22,783 new COVID-19 cases on Friday, its highest single-day case count since the pandemic began last year, as the state continues its record-breaking hospitalizations for the fifth straight day in a row.  Meanwhile, the San Antonio Express-News torched the GOP governors of both Texas and Florida, for using their states' citizens as COVID guinea pigs in a political stunt, as the two Republican governors continue trying to outdo one another in prohibiting commonsense policies to contain the crisis.

That said, considering the insane number of unnecessary deaths as a direct result of their policies, some legal analysts are insisting these governors should be impeached, charged with negligent homicide, and arrested.  Of course, given that it’s Florida and Texas, they’ll instead be overwhelmingly reelected.  That’s because apparently, the majority of Texans and Floridians will vote Republican, simply to “own the Libs,” even if it kills them.  And guess what?  It turns out - it will!

 

I mean, if you’re a Texas or Florida real estate investor, now’s the time to buy up those vacant lots and convert them into cemeteries.  That’s gonna be the next real estate boom.  The Red States are quickly becoming the “Dead States.”  Hell, Governors DeSantis and Abbott apparently feel the best strategy to win the White House in 2024, is to compete as to who can oversee killing the most people in their state. 


Why, it’s actually getting to the point where the federal government may soon have to issue a travel advisory - “Vacation in Florida or Texas at your own risk.”  Now, the only thing the Feds need to work out is which message is more urgent, warning travelers about the COVID risks - or the stupidity? 


Johnny Robish Comedy

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