Florida Again Crushes Single Day Record for New Virus Cases with 22,783

The Miami Herald reported that Florida reported a record 22,783 new COVID-19 cases on Friday, its highest single-day case count since the pandemic began last year, as the state continues its record-breaking hospitalizations for the fifth straight day in a row. Meanwhile, the San Antonio Express-News torched the GOP governors of both Texas and Florida, for using their states' citizens as COVID guinea pigs in a political stunt, as the two Republican governors continue trying to outdo one another in prohibiting commonsense policies to contain the crisis.

That said, considering the insane number of unnecessary deaths as a direct result of their policies, some legal analysts are insisting these governors should be impeached, charged with negligent homicide, and arrested. Of course, given that it’s Florida and Texas, they’ll instead be overwhelmingly reelected. That’s because apparently, the majority of Texans and Floridians will vote Republican, simply to “own the Libs,” even if it kills them. And guess what? It turns out - it will!

I mean, if you’re a Texas or Florida real estate investor, now’s the time to buy up those vacant lots and convert them into cemeteries. That’s gonna be the next real estate boom. The Red States are quickly becoming the “Dead States.” Hell, Governors DeSantis and Abbott apparently feel the best strategy to win the White House in 2024, is to compete as to who can oversee killing the most people in their state.

Why, it’s actually getting to the point where the federal government may soon have to issue a travel advisory - “Vacation in Florida or Texas at your own risk.” Now, the only thing the Feds need to work out is which message is more urgent, warning travelers about the COVID risks - or the stupidity?

Johnny Robish Comedy

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Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War: In a fiery speech, arguing that impeachment would disenfranchise Donald Trump’s supporters, defense lawyer David Schoen is being harshly criticized for his thinly veiled threat - warning that impeaching the former president could very well result in even more violence from Donald Trump’s easily enraged base. So, if I understand Schoen’s argument correctly, it sounds as if he’s implying that “if you bring Trump to trial, then that angry, violent mob who attacked the Capitol, wanting to hang Vice President Pence and kill various members of Congress, might get really, really mad again - and there will be reprisals.” You know, we’re talking stuff like ”Nice country you have here - be a damn shame if something were to happen to it!” In other words, Schoen’s trying to incite violence, in defense of a man who’s facing trial - over inciting violence. They don’t teach you that in law school. Now, is it jus...

Former Trump National Security Advisor Warns ‘Deep State’ Putting COVID Vaccine in Salad Dressing

Former Trump National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, who was fired and then prosecuted for lying to the FBI about his contacts with Russia before being ultimately pardoned by Trump, is now sliding further into the QAnon conspiracy world, telling the hosts of an online show dedicated to COVID and election fraud conspiracies - that he has heard the “Deep State” is attempting to “sneak coronavirus vaccine into salad dressing.” Now, I have no idea where Gen. Flynn got this information, but my guess is it was probably a text from Mike Lindell or Rudy Giuliani, alerting him to the “hidden dangers of salad dressing.” Or, it could have been Nicki Minaj for all I know. After all, she does have another cousin who has a friend in Timbuktu. Word on the street has it the “Deep State” will initially start with “Ranch Dressing” to vaccinate the cowboys, then move on to “Russian Dressing,” to get the rest of Trump’s supporters. Anyway, I hate to rain on Gen. Flynn’s conspiracy the...

Elon Musk Calls for the Prosecution of Anthony Fauci

Over the weekend, Elon Musk took to his Twitter account to call for the prosecution of infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci, endorsing a convoluted, right-wing conspiracy theory that claims Dr. Fauci financed the COVID-19 pandemic. Musk then proceeded to mock transgender people by adding “My pronouns are Prosecute/Fauci.” Gee, the “world’s richest right-wing troll” said what? Now, I realize it's a really low bar, but I think we’ve finally found someone who actually knows less about pronouns - than Herschel Walker. Not to be critical, but a good sign you may have a wee bit too much money on your hands, is when you blow 44 billion dollars, just to call people names. Oh sure, I’m positive Elon Musk, like any right-wing crusader, gets a real kick out of using his Twitter to “Own the Libs.” OK, I get that, but just who does he suppose is actually buying his friggin' cars, anyway? I’m pretty sure it isn’t Trump’s toothless, MAGA half-wits who are fillin...

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