Mask-Hating Texas Governor Now Demanding Feds Provide Mobile Mortuary Trailers

NBC News reports that Texas Gov. Greg Abbott (R), less than a week after pleading for out-of-state medical help, is now demanding the federal government (FEMA) send him mortuary trailers, in anticipation of an influx of dead bodies as an accelerating COCID-19 continues to wreak havoc upon his state. This is the same Gov. Abbott who fought fiercely throughout the pandemic against coronavirus preventive measures - such as social distancing, face masks, and vaccinations.

When asked about his mortuary trailer request from the Feds, Gov. Abbott said he prefers to simply think of them as “FEMA Freedom Freezers.” Unfortunately, because Texas and Gov.Abbott also chose to secede from the “national power grid” in order to avoid regulation and oversight, the next time the Texas grid goes down, there won’t be any electricity to power those mobile mortuaries. Thank goodness the nation isn’t in the middle of a massive, record-setting heatwave.

The funny thing is, it appears all those “Death Panels” Republicans tried to scare everyone with a few years ago, are actually real - and they’re being staffed by Republican Governors. Hell, maybe Hollywood ought to make one of their horror movies about all this. They could call it “The Texas COVID Massacre.” The fact is, if Gov. Abbott can keep up the pace of folks succumbing to COVID, he may soon have bodies piled up high enough - to actually complete Trump’s wall.

Meanwhile, despite all the sick and dying, Gov. Abbott promises he’ll stick by his strict anti-mask measures no matter what - because that’s what “freedom” is all about. And I get where he’s coming from on that, because having to wear a mask indoors is no different than being locked up in a North Korean prison cell - when you’re a rabid Trump sycophant like Greg Abbott.

Now, what’s kind of ironic is that Democrats have long dreamed about one day being able to turn the state of Texas “blue,” but Gov. Abbott appears to have even devised a way to use deadly the coronavirus, to actually make individual Texas citizens “turn blue.” Not surprisingly, Texas Funeral Directors say they’re all on board. So there, “take that, Dr. Fauci!”

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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