Skip to main content

Jerry Falwell Jr. Took Testosterone Supplements to Win Wife Back From Pool Boy


In an interview with Vanity Fair journalist Gabriel Sherman at their 500-acre Lynchburg farm, Jerry Falwell Jr. blamed the erratic behavior that got him fired from his position as President of the fundamentalist Christian Liberty University, on the “testosterone supplements” he was taking in an effort to win his wife Becki back from their pool boy - with whom she had been having a seven-year affair.  In response, former pool boy Giancarlo Granda offers quite a different story, claiming the Falwells began “grooming" him when he was only 20, bought his silence with luxury vacations, rides on Liberty’s private jet, and an ownership stake managing a Miami Beach hostel.  In addition, Granda claimed Falwell Jr. frequently enjoyed watching, while he was having sex with Falwell’s wife Becki.

Wow, sounds like that pool boy must have been packing a helluva lot more than simple cleaning supplies!  Speaking of the pool, word has it that both Becki and the pool boy - loved going in “the deep end.”  Now, I’m certainly no competitive swimmer, but my guess is they were using a lot of “backstrokes” in that pool.  Of course, we always knew that Jerry Falwell Jr. was a “big prick,” we just didn’t know this “big prick,” was also a “limp dick.” 


Anyway, so Jerry Falwell Jr. is claiming he took a “testosterone supplement” to win his wife back from the pool boy?  Well, I’ve never heard of cocaine being referred to as a “testosterone supplement” before, but OK - whatever you say, Jerry.  Funny, how testosterone supplements cause “erratic behavior,” and Ambien causes “racism.,” but only for right-wing zealots.  Who knew?  


That said, I rather suspect old Jerry and the pool boy may have had a few escapades together themselves, and perhaps Jerry was actually more interested in trying to “win the pool boy back” from his wife, than he was in “winning his wife back from the pool boy.”  Not that any fundamentalist bigot like Jerry would ever have an issue admitting that he occasionally batted from either side of the plate.  


Now, the Bible tells us that Jesus “rose again” on the 3rd day.  Wonder if we can say the same for Falwell’s penis?  My guess is, Becki didn’t feel much like waiting around for three days to find out.  What I don’t get is, if he was sexually impotent, and impotence is basically caused by lack of blood flow to the penis, then why couldn’t a big-shot evangelical leader like Falwell, just command his penis fill up with “the blood of Christ?”  Why, problem solved and - thank you Jesus!


If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s.  She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden.  The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.”  There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed.  In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls.   Okay, so now let me get this straight.  A young Mexican fema...

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location:   The White House and President Trump are raising eyebrows once again after they selected Donald Trump’s National Doral Resort Hotel as the “perfect location” for the next G7 summit while also suggesting President Trump plans to re-invite Russian President Vladimir Putin to the meeting.  Well gee-whiz, what a lucky break for the Trump Resorts.  I mean, who knew there was no other place in the entire United States that would be appropriate to hold a G7 summit other than a Trump property?  Imagine that! Of course, at the rate Trump has been betraying all our friends and allies, by the time this conference actually rolls around - my guess is it’s likely only gonna be a G2 summit - with just Trump and Putin in attendance! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members:   President Trump shocked reporters by telling them that he is hesitant to allow any Bahamians to enter the US after Hurricane Dorian, because the island is full of "bad gang members.” Right, “bad gang members.”  That’s as opposed to all the “good gang members” who follow him.  You know, like the KKK, the neo-Nazis and all those white-supremacist militia gangs. But come on, if Trump really thought that there’s all these “bad guys” roaming around in the Bahamas, you’d think he’d have invited them to meet with him at Camp David by now. That said, my guess is that about the only thing Donald Trump actually knows about the Bahamas is that it’s surrounded bigly, by a Yuge bunch of water. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com