Skip to main content

Jerry Falwell Jr. Took Testosterone Supplements to Win Wife Back From Pool Boy


In an interview with Vanity Fair journalist Gabriel Sherman at their 500-acre Lynchburg farm, Jerry Falwell Jr. blamed the erratic behavior that got him fired from his position as President of the fundamentalist Christian Liberty University, on the “testosterone supplements” he was taking in an effort to win his wife Becki back from their pool boy - with whom she had been having a seven-year affair.  In response, former pool boy Giancarlo Granda offers quite a different story, claiming the Falwells began “grooming" him when he was only 20, bought his silence with luxury vacations, rides on Liberty’s private jet, and an ownership stake managing a Miami Beach hostel.  In addition, Granda claimed Falwell Jr. frequently enjoyed watching, while he was having sex with Falwell’s wife Becki.

Wow, sounds like that pool boy must have been packing a helluva lot more than simple cleaning supplies!  Speaking of the pool, word has it that both Becki and the pool boy - loved going in “the deep end.”  Now, I’m certainly no competitive swimmer, but my guess is they were using a lot of “backstrokes” in that pool.  Of course, we always knew that Jerry Falwell Jr. was a “big prick,” we just didn’t know this “big prick,” was also a “limp dick.” 


Anyway, so Jerry Falwell Jr. is claiming he took a “testosterone supplement” to win his wife back from the pool boy?  Well, I’ve never heard of cocaine being referred to as a “testosterone supplement” before, but OK - whatever you say, Jerry.  Funny, how testosterone supplements cause “erratic behavior,” and Ambien causes “racism.,” but only for right-wing zealots.  Who knew?  


That said, I rather suspect old Jerry and the pool boy may have had a few escapades together themselves, and perhaps Jerry was actually more interested in trying to “win the pool boy back” from his wife, than he was in “winning his wife back from the pool boy.”  Not that any fundamentalist bigot like Jerry would ever have an issue admitting that he occasionally batted from either side of the plate.  


Now, the Bible tells us that Jesus “rose again” on the 3rd day.  Wonder if we can say the same for Falwell’s penis?  My guess is, Becki didn’t feel much like waiting around for three days to find out.  What I don’t get is, if he was sexually impotent, and impotence is basically caused by lack of blood flow to the penis, then why couldn’t a big-shot evangelical leader like Falwell, just command his penis fill up with “the blood of Christ?”  Why, problem solved and - thank you Jesus!


If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform.   Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate.   Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?”  Say it ain’t so!   Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum.   Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically.   Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.”   Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal:   Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike?  Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death.  Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this.   On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Demands Constitution Be Set Aside and He Be Reinstated as President

Reacting to a Twitter post from Elon Musk who claimed Democrats violated the 1st Amendment by collaborating with big tech (Twitter), to remove tweets that featured pornographic photos of Hunter Biden during the 2020 election,” former President Donald Trump took to his Truth Social platform to demand that the United States Constitution be set aside and that he be reinstated as president.   Trump further claimed that "A Massive Fraud of this type and magnitude allows for the termination of all rules, regulations, and articles, even those found in the Constitution.   Our great 'Founders' did not want, and would not condone False & Fraudulent Elections!” Now, let me get this straight, Trump wants the US Constitution to be suspended - because Twitter refused to publish photos of “Hunter Biden's junk” during that last presidential election?  The thing is Elon, Democrats weren’t even in power in 2020 - Trump was, which would make it a bit difficult for them to violate the...