Missing Florida Gov Finally Resurfaces at MAGAchurch Event as COVID Cases Mount

After going missing for nearly two weeks as Florida continues to set records for new coronavirus infections, and with his spokesperson giving conflicting accounts as to where he might be, Florida Republican Governor Ron DeSantis finally resurfaced on stage New Years Eve at a Sean Feucht MAGAchurch superspreader event, to accept an award for his “courage” in opposing mask mandates and COVID vaccines.

Gee whiz, wonder which MAGAchurch that was? Must have been the “Branch Covidians.” So, Gov. DeSantis just disappears for nearly two weeks, right in the middle of a health crisis, does he? Wonder where could he have DeGone? Why, it’s almost as if he didn’t give a good DeF**k about Floridians during DePandemic?

So, where was Ron DeSantis? Could the Deep State have abducted him, only for him to somehow manage to escape and show up just in time to collect his “award” at this News Years Eve superspreader event? Why, it seems almost Biblical if you ask me - ”And on the thirteenth day, he arose again, in fulfillment of an old Republican prophecy, about a MAGA governor who knew how to spin his incompetence - into good PR.”

All I know is, something’s rotten in Tallahassee - and believe me, it ain't the crayfish! Anyway, given his “Don’t Fauci My Florida” COVID leadership - perhaps no DeSantis, is better than Ron DeSantis. Now, if the good governor were to be completely honest with voters, then his upcoming 2024 DeSantis Presidential Campaign slogan, would actually read “Let’s go Darwin!”

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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