According to a figure cited by the “Fresh Produce Association of the Americas,” Texas Governor Greg Abbott caused an estimated $240 million worth of produce to rot when he mandated additional state inspections after the federal inspections of all trucks and commercial vehicles crossing into Texas from Mexico. This resulted in huge backups and waits of almost 30 hours - before he finally reversed the policy after receiving widespread criticism. Abbott claimed the move was to ensure the trucks were not smuggling in illegal aliens, but critics say the move was simply a racist political stunt, and his actions will cause large price spikes for strawberries, avocados, and asparagus in the Northeast and Midwest as early as this weekend.
Goodness - strawberries, avocados, and asparagus - oh my! But hey - at least Gov. Abbott is "owning the libs,” and if you’re part of the half-witted MAGA Trump base, that's all that really matters. Besides, who cares about a bunch of rotting produce if you’re a conservative Republican? Hell, it’s not like they’d ever eat any fruits or vegetables, anyway. I mean, that stuff is “libtard food.”
Why, a Trump supporter at the gym told me he fully supports Abbot’s additional truck inspections, because “everyone knows these damn truck drivers aren’t just coming here to deliver produce, they’re also coming to vote illegally.” I asked him “what’s the purpose of sneaking in to vote illegally - if there are no elections being held?” He told me “That’s beside the point! It’s the thought that counts, and these drivers HAVE thoughts.”
Now, while it’s true that no drugs or illegal aliens were found in any of these Abbott searches, they did find a half dozen or so minor mechanical violations in those hundreds and hundreds of trucks they delayed. Republicans say those mechanical violations obviously demonstrate what a remarkable success Abbott's inspections really were - making it totally worth the time, effort, and the quarter-billion-dollar produce losses.
Besides, when prices on produce begin to rise, Republicans can simply blame it all on Joe Biden, illegal aliens, space lasers, and the libs. Hell, the MAGAs will never know the difference, and Democrats will (once again) be way too timid to defend themselves. After all, don’t wanna appear too “immoderate” to those corporate donors.
Anyway, all of that aside, it seems moves like this "Abbott's Apocalypse” merit a brand new GOP slogan for this next election cycle. It’ll read “Today’s Republican Party - working hard to undermine the US economy, defund what’s left of the American social safety net, and own the libs.” Frankly, I don’t see what’s not to like - especially, if you’re a psychopath.
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