Newsmax Host Says Instead of Gun Laws - Have Kids Wear Armored Vests

While ridiculing actor Matthew McConaughey for his impassioned White House speech about the mass school shooting that occurred in his hometown of Uvalde, Texas, Newsmax host Grant Stinchfield blasted all attempts at gun control measures, and instead urged parents to buy ballistic shields for their kids, which he claims will easily fit inside their children's backpacks.

Oh, I get it, “ballistic shields” are fine, but COVID face masks will psychologically traumatize them for life. Gee, that reminds me, I just saw a pic of a bunch of “open carry” freaks showing off at some Texas beach this week. So, does that mean parents should pick up some “ballistic swim armor” too? Wait, that sounds like it could turn into a “Catch 22.” See, if the kids don’t wear the “swim armor,” they might get shot - but if they do wear it, they’ll probably drown. Decisions, decisions!

Gee, now that makes you wonder just when are we gonna finally "well regulate" that darn militia, anyway? I mean, it’s been 233 years now. Too soon? Of course, as far as Republicans are concerned, the entire constitution could be reduced to just one simple sentence, “Everyone gets a gun!” Then, we just “dress up the kiddies in an armored vest, and let thoughts and prayers - take care of the rest.” See, that wasn’t so difficult, was it?

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