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Lauren Boebert Claims She Quit Taking Birth Control Because It's Cheaper to Have a Kid


At a recent House Oversight hearing on drug prices, Boebert told a personal story about her access to contraception, saying, "I left a prescription at a pharmacy once," she recalled. "I went to get birth control, and I was there at the counter and went to pay for it, and the price was very, very high. I said, wow, is this a three or six-month prescription? 'No, ma'am, this is one month.’" "And I said, it's cheaper to have a kid," the lawmaker added. "And I left it there, and now I have my third son."

Gee whiz, I’ll bet that story makes her “third son” feel really great about himself.  She does feed her kids, right?  Am I right?  Now let’s see here, data shows that raising a child in a middle-income family in the US costs about $288,610.  I mean, what the hell pharmacy was she going to - for crying out loud?  It must have been on Rodeo Drive?

Now, we all knew Boebert was a high school dropout, but this person is seriously bad at math.  Not to be critical, but it sure sounds like she must be a helluva lot better at “meth” than she is at “math.”  I guess those math lessons she took to get her GED only covered ten fingers and ten toes.  Hell, with a genius economic theory like hers, we ought to stick her face on the two-dollar bill.

So, for those of you with inquiring minds, that’s how one gets to become a grandma at just 36.  Now, I’m sure many of you are thinking to yourselves, “Surely, no one is really that stupid.”  I mean, there is “stupid,” and then there is “Weapons-Grade Stupid.”  Well, all I can say is these MAGAs half-wits are terrible at nearly everything they do, so why shouldn’t they be terrible at math also?

Frankly, I’m surprised she didn’t make the poor infant get a paper route right out the shoot.  So, Ms. Bimboebert spawns a son - and in turn, society gets a future mass shooter.  What a deal!  What does all this really mean?  Well, I think two things are pretty clear.  One - her entire story is just made-up bullshit, and two - since the Christian Nationalists have won the abortion battles, they’ll now be coming after your birth control.

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