You've Got to Be Kidding?

After months of struggling to raise money and gain traction in the polls, former Vice President Mike Pence, who began his campaign by implying it was “God’s Will” that he should run for President of the United States, dropped his bid for the Republican presidential nomination by stating “This is not my time.” Dammit!  and I just bought my Pence bumper sticker too!   That said, Mike - I think you’re right.   This isn’t you’re time.   In fact, I’m pretty sure your time may have passed somewhere around the mid to late 1950s.   Yet, at his Las Vegas announcement, Pence told supporters that with regard to his failed campaign, he “Has no regrets.”   Oh, I’m quite sure he has "no regrets," other than the fact that almost no one in the entire country ever had any intention whatsoever of voting for him. Well, as Mike and “Mother’s” Good Book might say - “And thus so endeth - the campaign of Mike Pence.”   The funny thing is, for a candidate supposedly so heavi...

Federal prosecutors have unsealed charges against four members of a Philadelphia-area truck robbery crew who made off with more than 2 million dimes that were being shipped from the US Mint in Philadelphia to Miami.   The heist took place while the tractor-trailer driver was sleeping in a Philadelphia parking lot. Well, I guess that pretty much explains why the local “Coinstar” machine was out of order.   Seems these damn coin collectors will do about anything to get their grubby little hands on more coins.   All I can say to these crooks is, “Don't steal that dime - if you can't do the time.”   And I do mean crooks.   I mean, it isn’t like these folks were gonna donate these coins to the “March of Dimes.”   Of course, that’s just my opinion.   I’m just trying to get my two cents worth in. Was it really worth it?  Well, even if these are a pretty good haul, it isn’t like these coins are “worth a mint.”   Besides, this whole thing sounds more ...

Paid a visit this past weekend to an old friend named “Cliff,” who has a place way up in the Santa Monica mountains overlooking LA.  I usually don’t like long drives, but Cliff asked me over because he was feeling “really down” – at least really down for a guy who “lives way up.”  Cliff admits a lot of his troubles are mostly his fault.  As you can see, Cliff’s the kind of guy who “lives right on the edge.” What was troubling Cliff?  Well, it turns out that Cliff’s girlfriend Grace had suddenly left him.  That’s right, no note - no nothing.  The disturbing thing is Grace may not have left intentionally, for you see Grace was a sleepwalker.  Now, I know some of you are going to ask, why in the hell would a woman allow herself to “fall” for a guy named Cliff who lives way up on the side of a mountain?  Well, as I mentioned before, Grace was a sleepwalker – so I guess it was just a matter of physics.  I suppose one could call it “a fall from Gra...

In the wake of the terror attack in Israel by Hamas, Donald Trump Jr. has put out a new video advising Americans to purchase AR-15s and 30-round clips to protect themselves and their families "Because if people in motorized paragliders come into your home - that's what it's for.”   Don Jr. further justified the AR-15s by claiming that “The government is too busy spying on your grandmother and conservatives to protect you,” adding that training to use assault weapons is also a terrific way “to bond with the family.” Wow, move over Jewish Space Lasers, COVID vaccines, and cancer-causing windmills.  Seems there’s a new kid on the block - motorized paragliders!   Sounds like someone’s getting a wee bit paranoid.   A little too much “Columbian Nose Candy, perhaps?”   MAGAs are like, “Hell, I think I saw one flying through my linen closet.”   So terrific!   Next thing you know, we’ll have half-witted, fentanyl-strung-out MAGAs firing assault weapons at anyth...

The Daily Beast reports that Texas Gov. Greg Abbott announced this week that the Texas National Guard is installing razor wire along the border of Texas and New Mexico on his orders, claiming that New Mexico’s Democratic Governor Michelle Grisham is allowing “Migrants to enter New Mexico illegally,  who then cross into Texas,” and “We are stopping it.”   Of course, many feel the real reason for Gov. Abbott’s razor-wire fence is that New Mexico is a safe haven for women seeking abortions, and Abbott and his pals fear women are “sneaking out of Texas unnoticed” to get them.   They point out that Abbott has been railing about this issue for months now. Well, we all know how much Abbott and his Republican pals are constantly harping about how Texas is synonymous with freedom, and believe me, nothing spells freedom quite like a “razor wire fence.”  Ah, but what’s the big deal, other than this violates tons of state and federal laws, including a citizens’ right of free tra...

As many folks ponder the potential for AI to give false or misleading answers, the Washington Post is reporting that if you ask an Amazon Alexa for information about the 2020 election, the popular voice assistant will tell you the election was “stolen by a massive amount of election fraud.”   Amazon said that data came from a video-streaming service used by ultra-conservatives called “Rumble.”   Alexa makes this claim even though multiple investigations into the 2020 election have revealed no evidence of fraud, and Trump faces federal criminal charges connected to his efforts to overturn the 2020 election. Why, of course, the election was stolen!  We know that because Donald Trump told us it was so - a full three months before anyone had even voted.   He said, “If I’m not the winner, then the election was stolen.”   Only a “stable genius” could know stuff like that months before the election was even held.   Hell, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if Tr...

After a newspaper interview with British Defense Minister Grant Shapps revealed that the United Kingdom was in talks with Ukraine to provide military training, Georgia Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (R) accused the British government of trying to start World War III.   Greene further added “The U.S. cannot participate.   NO AMERICA TROOPS!   We must defend our own border.” Oh, wait!  You mean the woman who has been advocating a “National Divorce” and threatening civil war here in the US (if she doesn’t get her way) - is now concerned about WW III?   Well, I’ll be!   All I can say is, for someone who seems so concerned about WWIII, she sure seems to be in one helluva lot of pics holding high-powered, military-grade automatic weapons. Besides, just what does the UK training Ukraine troops to defend themselves against a Russian invasion have to do with the US defending its southern border?  Am I missing something here?   That said, I do have to...