You've Got to Be Kidding?

Trump Invites Military Dog Injured in al-Baghdadi Raid to White House:   President Trump is tweeting that the military working dog named Conan, who was injured in the raid that killed ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, will leave the Middle East next week for a visit to the White House. Its being reported that the dog initially declined the invitation, but was finally persuaded to come after Trump promised him treats during their phone conversation - which the President later described as a “perfect conversation,” and vehemently denying accusations of any quid pro quo with the dog.   Sources close to the dog say Conan made it clear to the President that he expected nothing short of first class doggie treats and not a bunch of crappy, cold cheeseburgers, like the president passed out to Clemson’s football team during their White House visit this past January.  One things for sure, had the dog actually declined the White House invitation, you can bet Trump w...

Kanye West Claims $68 Million Tax Refund Was God’s Reward:  During a recent appearance on James Corden’s Carpool Karaoke , musician and loyal Trump supporter Kayne West said that the $68 million tax refund he received in 2019 was his reward from God for being a born-again Christian - money which will allow him to stay afloat financially.   Wow, I’m so happy for Him!  No, not Kanye - I meant God.  I mean, who could have known God was doing tax returns on the side these days?  Of course, I’m sure his followers are praying that this is just seasonal, part-time work for God - and not His new, full-time gig.   My guess is, He probably learned to do taxes by taking night classes somewhere like Pepperdine.  Pepperdine’s always been kind of a religious school anyway, so I’m sure His getting admitted there was just a piece of cake.  Hell, He probably even cut most of his classes.  I mean, who’s gonna flunk God?   Now, I don’t wa...

Trump Allies Smear War Hero Impeachment Witness:  In the latest effort by President Trump’s defenders to discredit the impeachment investigation, conservative commentators have been busy implying Tuesday’s witness, Army Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, a well-decorated, wounded Iraqi war veteran and a member of the National Security Council - might be a traitor. Well then, lets go ahead and compare - Lieutenant Colonel Vindman is a decorated soldier who has a Purple Heart.  Donald Trump, on the other hand, has no Purple Heart and - by all indications, appears to have no heart at all. Put another way, Alexander Vindman is a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Army, and a combat veteran who served his country honorably for over 20 years.  And Donald Trump, is a 5-time draft-dodger who serves only himself. Now, what baffles me, is how conservatives can still campaign on those worn-out old “we support the troops” slogans.  Now, while supporting troops sur...

Trump’s Syrian Pullout Leaves Putin in Charge:  Analysts say that when President Trump made his shocking decision to pull out of Syria and abandon our Kurdish allies, he handed Russia and Vladimir Putin the keys to the undisputed political leadership throughout the region. On the other hand, economists would probably argue that these events aren’t actually Putin victories, they’re simply interest payments and dividends - paid as a result of Putin’s various investments in Donald Trump, as well as his lovely family and friends. Anyway, I’m guessing this means Mr Putin isn’t likely to be going public with any of that incriminating information he’s been holding on Trump and his associates any time soon.  Funny how conservatives head’s literally explode with the mere mention of Colin Kaepernick, yet they’re perfectly fine with all this. For example, I have a cousin who swears Donald Trump will go down in history as “America’s greatest president.”  Of course, on ...

Convicted Russian Agent Maria Butina Sent Back Home:   Russian national Maria Butina, who was convicted and jailed in the US last April for being a Russian agent, during which time she admitted infiltrating and funneling influence money to the NRA, U.S. conservative activists and Republican politicians - has finally arrived back in Moscow after being released from prison early by US officials. OK, so where the hell is the NRA supposed to get all their cash from now?  From members?  Good luck with that!  I mean, you bet NRA cadre are now running around like madmen asking “where the hell are Boris & Natasha  - now that we really need them?” And good grief, to think that poor Wayne LaPierre just bought himself one of those brand spanking new, French-style country estates just outside Dallas.  And by God, those damn mansions don’t just pay for themselves. Anyway, before boarding the plane back to Russia, Ms Butina gracefully thanked all her ...

Trump Deficit Grows to Nearly $1 Trillion in 2019:   The Treasury Department announced Friday that, despite the booming economy, the budget deficit has ballooned to nearly $1 trillion in 2019, growing by $205 billion or 26 percent, in this past year alone. Well, to be fair, Trump did promise he’d run the country like he runs his businesses - which we now know apparently means “right into the ground.”  All I can say is, it’s a good thing for Trump that Republican voters believe deficits only matter - when there’s a "Democrat" in the White House.    But seriously, all his other business losses and scams aside, Trump took a damn casino into bankruptcy?  How the hell do you bankrupt a casino?  I mean, for God’s sakes - people just basically walk in and hand you money.  All you have to do is pay the electric bills. http://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Instructs All Federal Agencies to Cancel WaPo and NY Times:   The Trump administration says it plans to order federal agencies to cancel all Washington Post and New York Times subscriptions - and, in a recent interview with Fox News’ host Sean Hannity, Trump said “we don’t even want them in the White House anymore - they’re fake.” Like it or not, the President does bring up a pretty valid point though.  I mean, it’s pretty obvious to people who know a lot about such things, that the founding fathers wanted US citizens to get their news directly from the Fox News Channel. But why stop there?  Hell, why not just have the FCC pull the licenses for NBC, CBS, ABC, and that damn CNN?  I mean, allowing all these other channels to use our airways - often saying things which completely contradicts everything they’ll ever hear on Fox, just confuses people.   And by God, we’ve seen what happens when folks get all confused like they did in 2016.  W...