You've Got to Be Kidding?

DHS Threatens to Send Federal Law Enforcement Into Portland:   After a far right protester, part of a heavily armed 600-vehicle caravan of white nationalist Trump supporters who entered Portland with plans to confront BLM protestors, was fatally shot - acting Homeland Security Secretary Chad Wolf has been threatening to send in federal law enforcement to confront the BLM protesters - even though Portland officials warn sending in the Feds will only further inflame tensions. Now, let’s see here.  President Trump makes a series of inflammatory speeches, which dog whistle his cult’s white nationalist storm troopers to head into Portland for the sole purpose of using the threat of violence to try and intimidate BLM protesters - and then he blames all the chaos on city officials?  I mean, gee whiz - who could have ever imagined that a heavily armed contingent of angry white nationalists, coming into town with loaded weapons, intent on confronting Black Lives Matter demons...

Elon Musk’s Neuralink Unveils Pigs with Computer Chips in Their Brains:   Tesla and SpaceX founder Elon Musk has just showcased pigs with computer chips in their brains during his unveiling of Neuralink , an upcoming technology aiming to bring symbiosis between artificial intelligence and the human brain, which Musk hopes will help fight medical conditions such as memory loss, blindness and paralysis. Of course, some folks are now warning that devices such as these, could lead us all down a slippery slope - but, the pigs have been defending their participation in the study, pointing out that all they’re really trying to do - is bring home the bacon, without actually becoming bacon. Who knows, maybe one day soon, you’ll see these porkers driving around town in brand new Teslas.  That said, you can bet the minute they start implanting these devices into humans, some folks will go into existential crisis, every time Neuralink issues a new hardware or software update.   ...

Trump’s Vancouver Hotel Files for Bankruptcy:  The parent company which owns one of President Trump’s newest hotels, the Trump International Hotel in Vancouver, a facility run and managed by the Trump Organization - has filed for bankruptcy, just three years after it opened. Well now, that’s completely understandable.  Let’s face it, Vancouver, Canada isn’t exactly what you would call a good fit for the Trump brand.  After all, Canada is still considered a “democracy.”  Let’s not forget that everything Trump touches, soon dies - including America.  Ironically, according to the promotional video, Eric Trump called Vancouver “one of the great cities of the world,” and “a place that’s so fitting for the Trump brand.”  Well - yes it is , and apparently - no, it wasn’t .”  Gee, and to think all this time, I was under the impression that “bankruptcy” was actually the “Trump brand.”  Silly me! Anyway, I think I’ve actually got an idea that just mig...

Republicans Cast Trump as the Best Choice for Women:   Republicans used the GOP convention this week to appeal directly to female voters, with prominent Republican women like White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany - attempting to portray the President as an “advocate for women” as he faces an overwhelming gender gap in his uphill battle for reelection. Well…I’m not so sure about how much the President can be considered an “advocate for women,” but I do know he’s always been a huge supporter of hookers, porn stars and female escorts.  I suppose that oughta count for something.  Of course, the only way we’ll ever really know for sure, is to wait until Sean Hannity finally comments on the issue. Not surprisingly, McEnany, Mike Pence and other Republicans, say this election boils down to nothing less than a choice between the Democrat’s far-left socialist agenda, one hell-bent on destroying America - and Donald Trump, who’s been busy protecting and preserving the “ ...

Trump Demands Biden Be Drug Tested Before Their Presidential Debate:   In a recent Oval Office interview, President Trump indicated he will insist that drug tests be administered before next month’s first presidential debate between he and Joe Biden, claiming (without evidence), that the sudden improvement in Biden’s last primary debate performance - may very well be attributed to drugs administered to him before the debate. Drug tests?  Great idea Mr President!  Hell, the debate’s moderator could start everything off - by directing both candidates to pee into a cup behind their podiums.  Of course, as usual - we’ll insist Mexico pay for all the testing.  And, while we’re at it, Biden should demand they also get STD tested.  That ought to shake things up in the Trump camp a bit.  Of course, an argument could be made that anyone who still supports Donald Trump at this stage of the game, is definitely on something that is affecting their judgem...

Trump Portrayed as Lifesaving Coronavirus Hero at Republican Convention:   At the Republican National Convention, President Trump was hailed as a bold and lifesaving leader, who who stood up to the virus, while Democrats, doctors and pundits got it all wrong from the beginning, downplaying the severity of the virus.   Great point Republicans!  And, let us not forget that Donald Trump was also the courageous hero, who led us to victory in Vietnam.  I mean, if you listen to the Democrats long enough, you’ll walk away thinking that while Americans soldiers were dying on the battlefield, draft dodger Donald Trump - was busy cheating his way through college and getting setup in business by his rich daddy.   Besides, senior Republican officials have already declared the coronavirus loss of life figures as - “acceptable.”  That means it’s time to move on folks!  So, let us all join the Reverend Jerry Falwell Jr., Jim Bakker and other white evangelicals, ...

US Mint Asks Americans to Help Tackle Widespread Coin Shortages:  The director of the U.S. Mint is asking Americans to help fight widespread coin shortages, by using exact change for purchases and exchanging the coins you have stashed away, for cash at banks or kiosks - actions that would help improve the massive breakdown in coin circulation. Well, I never thought I’d live to see the day when it finally would come to this.  I mean, to think that the US Government under Donald Trump is now so broke, they’ve started asking folks if they have “any spare change?” Why, if they try and hit me up for some change, I’ll just tell ‘em “I gave at the office.”   Besides, what the hell do I care?  I almost never use coins for anything anyway.  Hey US Mint - “here’s a quarter , call somebody who gives a crap.”  But in all fairness, I’m also someone who only believes in conducting business transactions through bartering in “ colorful feathers or cowrie snail shells ”...