You've Got to Be Kidding?

Elon Musk Sold 10,000 Flamethrowers Through His Boring Co Website:  In addition to his electric cars, trucks, his boring company and space ventures, Elon Musk has now launched an actual functional flamethrower for consumers, of which he claims to have already sold 10,000 of the $500 weapons.  Now I get just as annoyed as anyone else when those Jehovah’s Witnesses come banging on my door peddling their Watchtower magazine - but isn’t this idea just a wee bit extreme?  On the other hand, an item like this could just be the perfect solution the next time President Trump decides to tell a member of his rotating staff - “you’re fired!” http://www.johnnyrobish.com Study Finds Women Find the Men Desired By Others More Attractive:  A new study published in Scientific Reports , found that women find men more attractive - once they find out he is desired by other women.  Hell, you don’t need to waste time and money on some fancy study to find that out, just t...

Man Killed After Being Sucked Into MRI Machine:   Mumbai police have confirmed that a 32-year-old man has died after being “sucked”   into an MRI machine by a giant magnet.  Wow, that really sucks!  On a positive note, the MRI results are back - and he appeared to have been in excellent health! http://www.johnnyrobish.com Humane Society CEO Subject of Sexual Harassment Complaints:   The Humane Society of the United States is conducting an internal investigation into complaints of sexual harassment by its CEO Wayne Pacelle.  My guess is that he tried to get them to do it “doggy style.”  What I’d like to know is,  just how in the world they were able to get the animals to sit still during the depositions?  And if that isn’t enough controversy, some donors are feeling a little uncomfortable about rumors circulating that Michael Vic will be named as Pacelle’s replacement. http://www.johnnyrobish.com     Slow...

Ikea Founder Ingvar Kamprad Dead at Age 91:   Ingvar Kamprad, who transformed a small local furniture business in the 1940s to the massive global brand Ikea, has died at age 91.  When the funeral home delivered his casket, I guess it came as no surprise to anyone that “some assembly was required.” http://www.johnnyrobish.com Trump Claims Ice Caps Setting Records During His Presidency:  While dismissing climate change during a recent interview in the UK with Piers Morgan, President Trump insisted that rather than melting, the “ice caps are setting records” during his presidency.  Wow, that statement reminds me of the old adage, “you can lead a Republican to facts, but you can’t make them think.”  That said, in all fairness - the President is partially correct.  The polar ice caps have reversed themselves and are now heading towards Panama for the winter. http://www.johnnyrobish.com Parents Forcing Children to Drink Bleach to Cure Au...

Trump’s Air Force One Refrigerator Upgrade to Cost $24M:   The Trump administration has just signed a new contract with Boeing to upgrade two food refrigeration chilling systems on Air Force One for a whopping $24 million. Gee, at those prices, let’s hope they at least got free delivery.  Wonder if the White House is signed up for Amazon Prime?  Anyway, to be completely fair, I’ve also read that our astronaut’s spacesuits cost well over a million bucks each.  On the other hand, they do come with two pairs of pants - so there’s that.  The way I look at it, who cares how expensive something Trump orders costs?  Hell, he never pays his suppliers anyway. Sure, paying $24 million for a couple of lousy refrigerators may seem like a lot, but what’s important to remember is that Trump also just imposed a 30% tariff on all appliance imports.  Keep that up and before you know it, we'll ALL be paying $24 million for a refrigerator.  Good grief, I...