Amazon Files for Patent to Have Alexa Listen to Our Conversations

Amazon Files for Patent to Have Alexa Listen to Our Conversations: Amazon has filed for a controversial patent that could allow its Echo devices to one day listen in on our conversations in order to “assist us with user recommendations for Amazon products.”

See, this which is precisely why, when I’m talking to Alexia, I always whisper - so Jeff Bezos can’t hear what the hell we’re talking about. Mark my words - next, they’ll be coming out with an Alexa that constantly disagrees with you - for people who just love a good argument. “Alexa, what’s the weather like today?” “I don’t know. Why don’t you get your big, fat ass off the couch, open the door and take a look outside you fat, lazy bum?” Or how about this - “Alexa, who’s really the biggest dork, Jeff Bezos or Mark Zuckerberg?”

But, all kidding aside, these Echos must be secure. I mean hell, its my understanding that President Trump even has one in the Oval Office…"Alexa, launch some cruise missiles toward Syria!” Now personally, I’m totally comfortable with Alexia, but that’s because I made it perfectly clear when I brought her home - that “its gonna be my house, and my rules.” That said, if I ever do find out my Amazon Echo has been spying on me, my next command will be “Alexa…sell yourself on eBay.”

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

Comments

Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

You've Got to Be Kidding?

Search This Blog