Amazon Files for Patent to Have Alexa Listen to Our Conversations

Amazon Files for Patent to Have Alexa Listen to Our Conversations: Amazon has filed for a controversial patent that could allow its Echo devices to one day listen in on our conversations in order to “assist us with user recommendations for Amazon products.”

See, this which is precisely why, when I’m talking to Alexia, I always whisper - so Jeff Bezos can’t hear what the hell we’re talking about. Mark my words - next, they’ll be coming out with an Alexa that constantly disagrees with you - for people who just love a good argument. “Alexa, what’s the weather like today?” “I don’t know. Why don’t you get your big, fat ass off the couch, open the door and take a look outside you fat, lazy bum?” Or how about this - “Alexa, who’s really the biggest dork, Jeff Bezos or Mark Zuckerberg?”

But, all kidding aside, these Echos must be secure. I mean hell, its my understanding that President Trump even has one in the Oval Office…"Alexa, launch some cruise missiles toward Syria!” Now personally, I’m totally comfortable with Alexia, but that’s because I made it perfectly clear when I brought her home - that “its gonna be my house, and my rules.” That said, if I ever do find out my Amazon Echo has been spying on me, my next command will be “Alexa…sell yourself on eBay.”

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

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Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles. In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.” When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now! Let’s get real. It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene. Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway. Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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