LA Thieves Make Off With 2nd Ambulance in a Week: The Los Angeles Fire Department reports that for the second time in a week, thieves have made off with an ambulance in the LA area. Yea, well - knowing LA, its probably all part of a publicity stunt for a new video game - “Grand Theft Ambulance.”
Restroom Hand Dryers Suck Up Fecal Matter and Spray Them Out: A new study found that hand dryers in public restrooms suck up fecal bacteria from the air and spew it out at a rapid speed everywhere. Researchers say that while the dryers do indeed spread bacteria, drying your hands with them is still a lot more sanitary than say - licking a toilet seat.
Gambino Crime Family to Name New Leader: Law-enforcement officials say that the Gambino crime family has finally decided on Francesco “Franky Boy” Cali as the new leader of the 750-member organization. When asked for a response, Attorney General Jeff Sessions said a big shake-up like this has been long overdue given that James Gandolfini has been dead for a while now.
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