Sylvester Stallone Asks Trump To Pardon Boxer Jack Johnson

Sylvester Stallone Asks Trump To Pardon Boxer Jack Johnson: After receiving a phone call from his loyal supporter Sylvester Stallone, President Trump tweeted that he’s now considering issuing a presidential pardon for former heavyweight boxing champion Jack Johnson, who was convicted under the Mann Act of transporting his white girlfriend across state lines.

Gee, who knew Donald Trump was a Jack Johnson admirer? Its almost beginning to sound like President Trump really does care about black people - or at least those who’ve been dead for 75 years. Of course, in Trump’s defense - its probably a pretty safe bet to assume he has no idea whether or not Jack Johnson’s even dead.

But why now - and out of the blue - all of a sudden? I’m sure it didn’t have anything to do with stealing some of the thunder away from former First Lady Barbara Bush’s funeral. And gee, wonder if Trump’s Jack Johnson enthusiasm would’ve have been quite as strong had it been Robert De Niro instead of Sylvester Stallone bringing up the pardon? That said, what I find rather odd is why Trump’s close pal Frederick Douglass never mentioned it to him before?

Anyway, after the Johnson pardon, my guess is that the President’s next big humanitarian move will be to pardon all the Salem witches. After all, how many times have we all heard the President ranting about how much he hates “witch hunts?”

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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