Sylvester Stallone Asks Trump To Pardon Boxer Jack Johnson

Sylvester Stallone Asks Trump To Pardon Boxer Jack Johnson: After receiving a phone call from his loyal supporter Sylvester Stallone, President Trump tweeted that he’s now considering issuing a presidential pardon for former heavyweight boxing champion Jack Johnson, who was convicted under the Mann Act of transporting his white girlfriend across state lines.

Gee, who knew Donald Trump was a Jack Johnson admirer? Its almost beginning to sound like President Trump really does care about black people - or at least those who’ve been dead for 75 years. Of course, in Trump’s defense - its probably a pretty safe bet to assume he has no idea whether or not Jack Johnson’s even dead.

But why now - and out of the blue - all of a sudden? I’m sure it didn’t have anything to do with stealing some of the thunder away from former First Lady Barbara Bush’s funeral. And gee, wonder if Trump’s Jack Johnson enthusiasm would’ve have been quite as strong had it been Robert De Niro instead of Sylvester Stallone bringing up the pardon? That said, what I find rather odd is why Trump’s close pal Frederick Douglass never mentioned it to him before?

Anyway, after the Johnson pardon, my guess is that the President’s next big humanitarian move will be to pardon all the Salem witches. After all, how many times have we all heard the President ranting about how much he hates “witch hunts?”

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location: The White House and President Trump are raising eyebrows once again after they selected Donald Trump’s National Doral Resort Hotel as the “perfect location” for the next G7 summit while also suggesting President Trump plans to re-invite Russian President Vladimir Putin to the meeting. Well gee-whiz, what a lucky break for the Trump Resorts. I mean, who knew there was no other place in the entire United States that would be appropriate to hold a G7 summit other than a Trump property? Imagine that! Of course, at the rate Trump has been betraying all our friends and allies, by the time this conference actually rolls around - my guess is it’s likely only gonna be a G2 summit - with just Trump and Putin in attendance! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members: President Trump shocked reporters by telling them that he is hesitant to allow any Bahamians to enter the US after Hurricane Dorian, because the island is full of "bad gang members.” Right, “bad gang members.” That’s as opposed to all the “good gang members” who follow him. You know, like the KKK, the neo-Nazis and all those white-supremacist militia gangs. But come on, if Trump really thought that there’s all these “bad guys” roaming around in the Bahamas, you’d think he’d have invited them to meet with him at Camp David by now. That said, my guess is that about the only thing Donald Trump actually knows about the Bahamas is that it’s surrounded bigly, by a Yuge bunch of water. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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