Cockroach Milk Now the Latest Superfood Trend

Cockroach Milk Now the Latest Superfood Trend: Experts say a rare milk crystal produced by the Pacific Beetle cockroach is catching on among superfood enthusiasts - and that’s because the cockroach milk boasts four times as much protein as cow's milk and is packed with all the essential amino acids. Hell, that means most of the places where I go to eat should never have to buy milk again. My question is, how the hell are you supposed to milk a cockroach?

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Trump Claims Dead Soldiers Would Have Loved His Presidency: President Donald Trump made Memorial Day a tribute to himself by sending out a commemorating message claiming that dead American soldiers would have loved his presidency. And while I’m certainly no fan of Donald Trump, I suppose I’d rather have him speaking for the dead than for the rest of us. That said, my guess is the dead are more likely rolling over in their graves - not praising Donald Trump.

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Amazon’s Bezos Says We Must Leave Earth and Colonize the Moon: Amazon boss Jeff Bezos says humans will have to leave the Earth and the planet will eventually become just a "residential" zone. Come on, I mean if humanity wanted to live in a totally desolate place where you can’t breath the air, drink the water and are completely bombarded by deadly radiation - they’d move to Cleveland. About the only reason I can think of to move to the moon would be for the green cheese and hell - I’m pretty sure I saw some of that growing way in the back of my refrigerator.

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GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy: After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy? That’s one helluva threat! Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!” Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.” Alth...

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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