Trump Announces Plans for the Pentagon to Create a Space Force

Trump Announces Plans for the Pentagon to Create a Space Force: President Donald Trump has ordered the Pentagon to begin the creation of a sixth branch of the American Armed Forces to called the "Space Force,” which he envisions as an independent branch of the military, aimed at ensuring American supremacy in space.

Space Force - seriously? Sounds like somebody’s been binge-watching a few too many Star Wars movies over the weekend. Now in Trump’s defense, Ronald Reagan also had a very similar vision. Of course, it turned out he had Alzheimers, but he did have that vision. But let’s get serious here, is Space Force really gonna to be a new branch of the military, or is it actually the working title of new Mel Brooks movie? And now that I think about it, wasn’t “Space Force” canceled mid-season on Showtime last year?

Anyway, just what are we supposed to think about a military space program that’s being proposed by a science denier? This is a guy who looked directly into the sun during a solar eclipse last year without any eye protection. Oh well, I guess someone has to assume the title "Rocket Man” now that Kim Jong-un seems to have taken himself out of the running. Moon-a-Lago - here we come!

There’s one thing we can all agree on, however - nothing promotes world peace quite like militarizing outer space. That said, the President has already instructed Mark Hamill to begin preparation for a big summit on the planet Nibiru for early next year. Now, only two questions remain unanswered - will this new Space Force will be included in Trump’s upcoming military parade, and will Trump be able to fulfill one of his old campaign promises to miners by powering the entire Space Force organization with coal?

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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