Khloé Kardashian on Vacation in Mexico

Khloé Kardashian on Vacation in Mexico: The tabloids are reporting that reality star Khloé Kardashian has been showing off her “beach body” while vacationing in Puerto Vallarta. First off, I’d like to know why it is that every Bigfoot picture always seems so grainy and slightly out of focus? But come on, she’s on vacation from what - shopping sprees in Beverly Hills? Isn’t her entire life more or less a vacation? Anyway, that’s certainly an interesting application for "Fix A Flat.”

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Mystery Hairy Sea Monster Washes Up on Siberian Beach: The remains of what is being described as a giant, hairy monster have been discovered washed up on the shore of the Pacific side Bering Sea, leaving local residents speculating as to what it could possibly be. While I’m certainly no marine biologist, my guess is that its either one of the Kardashian sisters without makeup, an old Trump toupée or a Hairy Houdini.

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Former Tennessee Vice Mayor Caught Masturbating: Three women have testified that a former Mt. Carmel, Tenn. Vice Mayor William Blakely honked to get their attention, then proceeded to masturbate while behind the wheel while driving over 90 miles per hour. All I can say is, thank goodness he wasn’t texting also. Now I’m not quite sure whether he was driving or whacking at 90 MPH, but one thing’s for sure, now we know why he was the “vice mayor.” Anyway, if you ask me - this guy needs to get a grip on himself.

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Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles. In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.” When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now! Let’s get real. It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene. Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway. Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...

Spa Founder Sold Chinese Businessmen Access to President Trump

Spa Founder Sold Chinese Businessmen Access to President Trump: Just days after it was reported that the former owner and founder of the infamous Florida day spa busted in a high-profile prostitution ring attended President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Super Bowl party, a new report has surfaced that the same Li Yang is also running a company that sells Chinese clients access to President Trump and members of his administration. Which may be true, but word on the street has it that a lot of customers are quite upset after they paid extra for the “Presidential Package” - only to discover just how puny that package really is. Of course, spa owner Li Yang will argue that she was simply trying to offer Trump and his Chinese business partners a “helping hand.” Very slick! I mean, these are the kind of schemes that I bet would make even John Gotti envious. Well, Trump did promise during the campaign that he would run the count...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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