Zurich to Open Prostitution Drive-Throughs

Zurich to Open Prostitution Drive-Throughs: The Swiss city of Zurich has approved a measure that will open prostitution “drive-throughs” in the city, where customers can place their orders for one of 40 prostitutes and then have sex with them in a wooden booth. Now I have no idea what they’re gonna call these “drive-throughs,” but I think “Jack in the Box” or “In-N-Out” seems to be a pretty good fit.

https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Top Cancer Scientist Loses Funding After Bullying Claims: One of Britain’s leading genetic cancer scientists has had £3.5m in grant money revoked after allegations of bullying by 45 current and former colleagues. In related news, rumor has it that officials are about to investigate bullying in Parkinson’s research also. You can bet that has a lot of people shaking in their shoes.

https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Japan Urging Citizens to Stockpile Toilet Paper: After recent disasters such as earthquakes and tidal waves, the Japanese government has launched a new campaign - asking citizens to be sure to stockpile toilet paper in the event of another emergency. Excellent plan! That way, people will be ready the next time the Fukushima hits the fan.

Comments

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy: After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy? That’s one helluva threat! Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!” Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.” Alth...

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

You've Got to Be Kidding?

Search This Blog