Scientists Identify Earth's Oldest Known Animal Fossils

Scientists Identify Earth's Oldest Known Animal Fossils: Scientists have used fat molecules to solve a longstanding mystery and identify an ancient creature who lived 558 million years ago called Dickinsonia, thought to be the first complex “multi-cellular” organisms on Earth. Gee, multi-cellular organisms? I had no idea they even had cell phones back then, let alone organisms that could afford more than one phone. I can’t even imagine what their calling plan would look like. Knowing how they lived back then, I’ll bet they were constantly saddled with roaming charges.

https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Six Siblings of a Republican Congressman Endorse His Opponent: Citing the congressman’s increasingly extremist views on immigration, health care, birther conspiracy theories and white supremacy - six brothers and sisters of Arizona Republican congressman Paul Gosar are appearing in ads, pleading with Arizona citizens to consider voting for his Democratic opponent. Sadly, I think a Paul Gosar is about the best representation you can expect from people who’ve lived just downwind from 40 years of nuclear testing during the cold war. Paul Gosar represents Arizona’s the rural 4th District - an area where severe aluminum foil shortages are a fact of life as well as numerous UFO sightings. One thing’s for sure, the Gosar Thanksgiving dinner this November should be quite memorable!

Comments

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Anti-Vax Newsmax Host Says Diseases are Supposed to Kill People

Conservative network Newsmax has been forced to “distance itself” from remarks uttered by host Rob Schmitt this week, who claimed that vaccines go "against nature" because diseases are "supposed to wipe out a certain amount of people,” and that vaccinations “unnaturally interfere with viruses' designs on killing people.” Wow, kinda looks like the “Schmitt” has really hit the fan over at Newsmax. So, they want to “distance” themselves from Schmitt’s remarks, do they? Gee, makes you wonder if the morons who run Newsmax know they actually have the option not hire anti-science nitwits like Schmitt as anchors in the first place? Not to worry though, should Schmitt get fired, I'm sure folks like Kevin McCarthy or Rand Paul would warmly welcome him to become part of their staffs. Of course, the truth is, what Schmitt is really promoting is “Social Darwinism.” Given that, I assume by the same logic he applies to vaccines, one may conclude that by warning people ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

You've Got to Be Kidding?

Search This Blog