Skip to main content

Trump Visits Pittsburgh to Console Jewish Mourners

Trump Visits Pittsburgh to Console Jewish Mourners:  Amid thousands of protestors, President Donald Trump visited the Pittsburgh synagogue to offer condolences to Jewish worshipers who were mourning the 11 people shot to death during Sabbath prayers.  Why, what a sweet gesture for the Trumps to go and offer condolences to mourners at a synagogue that was all shot up by one of his rabid followers who committed the crime after becoming all fired up by the President’s inflammatory, conspiracy theory-laden speeches.  And look, it kind of appears that Melania may have even brought pizza for everyone to snack on.  It doesn’t get sweeter than that!



Trump to Sign Executive Order to End Birthright Citizenship:  Declaring that “birthright citizenship has to end,” President Trump promised loyal followers he will sign an executive order to end the centuries-long, 14th amendment-protected practice.  Gee, apparently Trump must have mistakenly thought he had taken an oath to “deflect and destroy” the Constitution.




New Research Shows Neanderthals Not Hunched-Over Cavemen:  By using 3D virtual reconstruction of a Neanderthal ribcage, scientists determined that Neanderthals were not the stereotypical “hunched-over and barrel-chested cavemen” that we had previously assumed they were.  In fact, it turns out they weren’t cavemen at all, and many owned fashionable condos just a tad west of Cleveland on the shores of Lake Erie.  Good grief, if these researchers are correct, then I’d say we owe Neanderthals and their descendants shopping in Walmart stores all across America - a pretty big apology. 

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform.   Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate.   Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?”  Say it ain’t so!   Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum.   Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically.   Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.”   Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal:   Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike?  Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death.  Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this.   On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com
Post a Comment
Read more

Trump Ordered by Jury to Pay E. Jean Carroll $83 Million

In his second trial in less than a year on the matter, a civil jury in Manhattan took only three hours to decide that disgraced former President Trump must pay $83.3 million in punitive and compensatory damages to rape victim and writer E. Jean Carroll in a drama that began in the dressing room of a New York City department store back in 1995. Gee whiz, $83 million?  Seems it turns out that even “when you're a star, they don't always let you do it.”  Anyway, so the Orange God used his big fat mouth to talk his way out of a $5 million judgment - and right into an $83 million judgment.  Now, that really takes some skill!  Talk about “The Art of the Deal!”  I’m totally impressed.  Why, its almost as if Mr. Trump and his militant, useless attorney don’t fully comprehend the basic point of “punitive damages.”   I mean, at this point, Trump defames Ms. Carroll so frequently, she’s almost gonna need to put up an electronic signboard to alert the court abo...
Post a Comment
Read more