Skip to main content

President Trump Suggests He May Pardon Paul Manafort


President Trump Suggests He May Pardon Paul Manafort:  Speaking to reporters outside the Oval Office, President Trump confirmed that he may be willing to pardon Paul Manafort amid new reports alleging his former campaign chairman had lied to Special Counsel Robert Mueller.
When asked if it would be wise to pardon someone who appears to have lied to the Special Counsel under oath, a visibly annoyed President schooled reporters about how “lying is an art form as old as humanity itself and that we, as Americans - cannot afford to lose our most talented people in that arena.” 

The President further added that “until I took office, places like Russia, North Korea and Syria led the world in lying.  That all changed very quickly when I became President.  We’ve always stood for America First!  Right from the very beginning, I assembled a team of some of the best lairs America had to offer.  People who were willing to do or say nearly anything to get their own way.” 

The President then posed the question “now I ask you, does America really wanna risk losing that advantage by sending our most highly skilled liars to jail?  Do you think all those folks who elected me President are the kind of people who would wanna live in a world where all the best lies are coming out of places like Saudi Arabia?  As your President, I pledge to never let that happen.  And that you can believe, I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold:   Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.”  Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy!   One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal.  I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either.   But then again, what else is new?  After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests.  Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy:   After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy?  That’s one helluva threat!  Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!”  Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.”  Alth...

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone:  Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ”  And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead?  Who do they think they’re kidding anyway?  After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com