Lindsay Graham Says Trump’s Wall is a Metaphor for Border Security

Lindsay Graham Says Trump’s Wall is a Metaphor for Border Security: In an effort to assure a determined President Trump that we’re going to be funding his “wall," while still giving Democrats something they can sign off on - Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC) has been telling the press that President Trump’s “wall” is simply becoming “a metaphor for border security.”

Wow - so if I understand this correctly, we’re now asking taxpayers to shell out at least $5 billion for a metaphor? Gee, if that’s true, couldn’t we find a cheaper metaphor somewhere - maybe even a used one? I mean, $5 billion is a lot of dough. I suggest checking on Craig’s List. Of course, the irony is, if Senator Graham is correct - then we’ve basically shut down our entire government operations - over a “metaphor!”

Now if that’s actually the case, then I think I have an idea. Instead of waiting for Mexico to announce that they’ve finally seen the light and have decided to fully fund Trump’s metaphor, why not instead make “Trump’s wall” just a metaphor for a big, beautiful, green hedge that runs the entire length of our border with Mexico. And maybe, just to keep Trump’s base of half-wits and simpletons happy, we’ll tell them “and Mexico’s gonna trim it."

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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