Trump Threatens to Close Mexico Border if No Wall Funding

Trump Threatens to Close Mexico Border if No Wall Funding: In a series of tweets, Donald Trump has been threatening to close down the US border with Mexico “entirely” if Democrats don’t give in and provide him with the funding he’s been demanding for his border wall.

Trump added that if closing the US/Mexican border isn’t enough to sway those damn Democrats, he may be forced make a bold statement and bomb the hell out of what the White House, Fox News and many other white nationalist “patriots” consider to be perhaps the most dangerous symbolic attack on US sovereignty we have in this country - the Statue of Liberty.

Well, at least now we know what Santa brought Donald for Christmas - lunacy! Now I’m no policy genius, but I think at a times like this - it’s extremely important for everyone to remember that it’s never a good idea to give in to the childish demands of a 5-year-old brat - even if that brat happens to be 72.

Now, the pressing question that remains is - what’s next on the agenda? I think the simple answer is - ask those Fox News “legal experts” if he also has the power to shut down other countries - you know, like the Mexican and Canadian Governments. I mean, why not? Isn’t this supposed to be all about America first? Well, come on - we shut down first!

https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location: The White House and President Trump are raising eyebrows once again after they selected Donald Trump’s National Doral Resort Hotel as the “perfect location” for the next G7 summit while also suggesting President Trump plans to re-invite Russian President Vladimir Putin to the meeting. Well gee-whiz, what a lucky break for the Trump Resorts. I mean, who knew there was no other place in the entire United States that would be appropriate to hold a G7 summit other than a Trump property? Imagine that! Of course, at the rate Trump has been betraying all our friends and allies, by the time this conference actually rolls around - my guess is it’s likely only gonna be a G2 summit - with just Trump and Putin in attendance! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members: President Trump shocked reporters by telling them that he is hesitant to allow any Bahamians to enter the US after Hurricane Dorian, because the island is full of "bad gang members.” Right, “bad gang members.” That’s as opposed to all the “good gang members” who follow him. You know, like the KKK, the neo-Nazis and all those white-supremacist militia gangs. But come on, if Trump really thought that there’s all these “bad guys” roaming around in the Bahamas, you’d think he’d have invited them to meet with him at Camp David by now. That said, my guess is that about the only thing Donald Trump actually knows about the Bahamas is that it’s surrounded bigly, by a Yuge bunch of water. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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