Skip to main content

Jim Bakker Says Donald Trump’s Been Spiritually Saved Many Times

Jim Bakker Says Donald Trump’s Been Spiritually Saved Many Times:  Televangelist, convicted felon and overall con-artist Jim Bakker recently bragged on his show about Donald Trump’s Christian devotion by telling followers that the President has been “saved so many times since becoming President,” that his numbers for being saved are “higher than anybody that he knows of.”
And while I rarely agree with shucksters like Jim Bakker, I have to admit that he’s absolutely correct on this one.  In fact, Bakker is so spot on, I almost feel like I should purchase one of those gigantic buckets of “End Times Survival Food” he’s been hawking for the past several years, just to show my appreciation - but I digress. 

The truth is, Trump has indeed been saved - many, many times.  Why, he’s been saved by his daddy’s inheritance, he’s been saved by the U.S. Bankruptcy courts, he’s been saved by the slick lawyers who payed-off all the porn stars, prostitutes and his sexual assault victims, he’s been saved by laundering Russian mob money when all other sources for loans dried up - and, lastly, he was saved by Vladimir Putin and his pals who made him the President of the United States.  Now say what you want - but that’s what I call “a whole, great big bunch of being saved!”

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s.  She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden.  The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.”  There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed.  In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls.   Okay, so now let me get this straight.  A young Mexican fema...

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location:   The White House and President Trump are raising eyebrows once again after they selected Donald Trump’s National Doral Resort Hotel as the “perfect location” for the next G7 summit while also suggesting President Trump plans to re-invite Russian President Vladimir Putin to the meeting.  Well gee-whiz, what a lucky break for the Trump Resorts.  I mean, who knew there was no other place in the entire United States that would be appropriate to hold a G7 summit other than a Trump property?  Imagine that! Of course, at the rate Trump has been betraying all our friends and allies, by the time this conference actually rolls around - my guess is it’s likely only gonna be a G2 summit - with just Trump and Putin in attendance! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members:   President Trump shocked reporters by telling them that he is hesitant to allow any Bahamians to enter the US after Hurricane Dorian, because the island is full of "bad gang members.” Right, “bad gang members.”  That’s as opposed to all the “good gang members” who follow him.  You know, like the KKK, the neo-Nazis and all those white-supremacist militia gangs. But come on, if Trump really thought that there’s all these “bad guys” roaming around in the Bahamas, you’d think he’d have invited them to meet with him at Camp David by now. That said, my guess is that about the only thing Donald Trump actually knows about the Bahamas is that it’s surrounded bigly, by a Yuge bunch of water. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com