Trump Announces $16 Billion in Aid for Farmers Hit by Trade War

Trump Announces $16 Billion in Aid for Farmers Hit by Trade War: Flanked by more than a dozen U.S. farmers - some in bright red MAGA hats - President Donald Trump announced a $16 billion farm aid bailout, designed to offset losses from his trade war with China.

Now, if I’m understanding this correctly, President Trump is portraying himself as a hero for offering agribusiness conglomerates a $16 billion taxpayer bailout - for a problem HE created? Wow, now that’s what I call some serious PR skills!

The thing is, if one didn’t know any better, one might mistakenly get the impression that all this smells a helluva lot like some slick politician, trying to purchase votes to compensate for his utterly incompetent trade policies.

And, not to sound skeptical, but what do you suppose are the odds that the bulk of this $16 billion bailout will ultimately find it’s way right into in the coffers of huge mega-corporations like Monsanto, Cargill, DowDuPont and Tyson?

On the other hand, I’m sure that if this ugly trade war ends up hitting these “farmers” too hard, Trump will once again rush to their aid and generously offer them jobs - perhaps as groundskeepers at Trump Resorts or Golf Clubs.

Because, as we all know, there’s nothing a slick New York developer who lives in a high-rise penthouse with gold toilets respects more, than someone who makes their living “working in the dirt.”

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GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

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Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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