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Scientists Say Plants Can Actually Talk

Scientists Say Plants Can Actually Talk:  Botanists say plants can really talk and have the recordings to prove it.  In fact, visitors to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden can actually listen to recordings of the songs corn plants sing.  Yea, well then, anyone who comes over to my place, better make up their minds pretty damn fast - who the hell are you gonna believe, me or some ly’n philodendron?  Frankly, I’m getting sick and tired of houseplants making up wicked lies and spreading them all over the living room. 

Scientists Explain How They Are Able to Date Fossils:  While ancient fossils don’t come with a day/date stamp on them, geologists say they are buried along with plenty of clues which allow scientists to reconstruct their age and history - a process which explains how scientists are able to “date” the fossils.  Wow, now that’s all news to me.  I assumed they dated the fossils by just hauling them back to the lab, working up the nerve - and then asking them out.


Study Finds Oreos Just as Addictive as Cocaine:  A study designed to determine the impact of high-fat and high-sugar foods in low-income neighborhoods, researchers say they found direct evidence that proves Oreo cookies are every bit as addictive as cocaine.  OK, I’ll be the first to admit I eat a lot of Oreos, but mine are prescription Oreos - prescribed by my doctor, not some damn street Oreos.

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