Rabies Scare Prompts Warnings for Disney’s Epcot Center

Rabies Scare Prompts Warnings for Disney’s Epcot Center: The Department of Health in Florida’s Orange County has issued a rabies alert for a two-mile radius around Disney World’s Epcot Center, after Disney officials say it was determined a feral cat tested positive for the disease.

Now wait just a minute! You’re trying to tell me that Disney World, a business which is basically run by a mouse, is claiming that a “cat” is spreading disease? Oh sure, we believe that. I mean, not much of a conflict of interest there - eh?

If you ask me, what we seem to have here are some “bought and paid for” health officials putting the blame on a cat, so as not to “tick off” any mice. Stunts like this are precisely why you hear so many cats these days walking around mumbling things like “I hate those meeces to pieces” under their breath.

But all of that aside, I do wonder where the rabies came from? What the hell, did Old Yeller get loose? Meanwhile, local residents, who are certainly not a group of people likely to miss out on an opportunity for a quick hustle, immediately got busy selling “I Survived the Disney Rabies Outbreak” t-shirts to anti-vaxxers and other conspiracy theorists.

Other locals took to complaining about how there wouldn’t even be a feral cat problem if the gators were doing their damn jobs. And, in related news, Florida police issued a statement saying they suspect rabies may very well explain what was behind that absolutely insane family brawl at Disneyland the other day.

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