Trump Praises Acosta as Calls for Him to Resign Grow

Trump Praises Acosta as Calls for Him to Resign Grow: President Trump is still standing by his embattled labor secretary, saying he “feels very badly for Alex Acosta,” even after more and more people have begun demanding Acosta’s resignation over the sweetheart plea deal he struck with financier Jeffrey Epstein on child sex trafficking charges while he was a federal prosecutor.

So, Trump feels “very badly for Alex Acosta” who’s been taking a lot of slack for letting Epstein off easy? Now, I’m sure some are asking “but, what about the victims?” Look, before you pass judgement, what good would it serve a guy like Trump to waste his sympathy on a bunch of helpless, underage sex slaves? I mean, of what value can some vulnerable kids be to a guy like Donald Trump?

In the meantime, it seems Secretary Acosta’s been quite busy, proposing slicing the budget which actually funds investigations of child sex trafficking by a whopping 80%. And why not? I mean, these young girls are people, not unborn fetuses. This is "Trump country” my friends - once you’re born, you’re on your own.

Of course, way back in 2002, Trump was telling everyone what a great guy Jeffrey Epstein was and how much fun it was to hang out with him. Now, he's claiming he had a falling out with him 15 years ago. Gee, that would be right around the time Epstein was being brought up on child sex trafficking charges. Which makes sense - after all, Trump’s never much cared for rapists - who get caught.

Meanwhile, all this time Trump’s loyal cult followers have been trying to connect Democrats and Hillary Clinton to child sex trafficking - does Pizzagate ring a bell? And what a surprise, here all along it was actually Donald Trump with the best child sex ring connections! Gee, that’s gotta be a little depressing when just about everyone you know and associate with turns out to be a criminal.

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GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy: After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy? That’s one helluva threat! Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!” Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.” Alth...

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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