New Report Finds Russians Used Greed to Capture the NRA

New Report Finds Russians Used Greed to Capture the NRA: A year-long Senate finance committee investigation found that ties between the National Rifle Association (NRA) and influential Russians were both substantial and lucrative enough, to render the politically powerful gun lobby an “asset” of Russia.

No kidding - an asset of Russia? Hell, the guy who lives just down the street from me is a huge gun enthusiast. I should probably drop by and ask him how many Rubles it takes these days to get an NRA membership.

Now, the NRA has recently taken a lot of slack for opposing legislation geared toward preventing people with severe mental health issues from owning guns, but I aways understood the NRA position on the matter. After all, if the mentally ill couldn’t own guns, then who the hell they supposed to get to join the NRA?

Of course, in all fairness, I’m sure it’s all purely coincidental that just about every single Republican or conservative organization you can think of - seems to have Russians coming out of the woodwork. Talk about rotten luck!

On a positive note, at least Wayne LaPierre got himself some pretty decent perks out of the deal. It must be comforting for NRA members, knowing they’re doing their part to ensure LaPierre continues enjoying that cushy lifestyle of his. Besides, if things ever did go south, I’m sure LaPierre could always get Rudy Giuliani to represent him.

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GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy: After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy? That’s one helluva threat! Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!” Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.” Alth...

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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