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Religious Conservatives Warn Martyrdom Awaits if Democrats Win

Religious Conservatives Warn Martyrdom Awaits if Democrats Win:  Several hundred people packed a large hall inside the Catholic University of America in northeast Washington, D.C., to listen to religious conservatives warn of a dystopian future in which the execution of Christians for their religious beliefs will be as commonplace as it was in ancient Rome - if Democrats like Bernie Sanders win the upcoming election in 2020.
No kidding!  Hell, eight years of Obama nearly wiped out all of America’s Christians, who were summarily executed with the very guns Democrats confiscated from law-abiding, evangelical gun owners.  Fortunately, enough of them survived to elect Trump president in 2016.

And what a blessing Donald Trump has been for America.  Why, if it weren’t for him, poor evangelicals would most likely be spending all their time urinating in genderless bathrooms, baking cakes for gay weddings, and mass shootings would be occurring so often - they’d almost be considered commonplace.

All I can say is, thank goodness evangelicals are now, with the aid of organizations such as the NRA gun lobby, arming themselves to the teeth and stocking up on those $500 survival food buckets they’ve purchased from Jim Bakker Ministries.  Now, it’s simply a matter of waiting for President Trump to issue them their marching orders.

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