Conspirators Claim Burger King's Impossible Whopper Giving Men Breasts

Conspirators Claim Burger King's Impossible Whopper Giving Men Breasts: Burger King’s Impossible Whopper has become a huge hit for the fast-food franchise, but a new conspiracy theory circulating in right-wing circles claims that the meatless burger is causing men to grow breasts.

Now, I know a lot of you are gonna say “a veggie burger causing men to grow breasts? Why, that’s Impossible!” Yes, dummy - that’s probably why it’s called the “Impossible Burger.” Personally, I’d like to thank all these conspiracy theorists for keeping us “abreast” of this “developing” story.

Hell, if these Impossible Burger people aren’t stopped soon, the poor company may be forced to change their name from Burger King to Burger Queen. Not to mention, that men who may not want to have big breasts - may start demanding that Burger King make a sandwich that will help enlarge their “Whoppers” too!

That said, all this may end up having a silver lining. I mean, this could create a huge sales boon for Victoria's Secret. Not to mention, unemployed men may now be able to find work as Hooters servers. Now the question is, how many Impossible Burgers do you need to eat before you’re sporting a couple of “double D’s?”

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GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

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Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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