Armed Militias Flock to Gettysburg to Foil Fake Antifa Flag Burning

Armed Militias Flock to Gettysburg to Foil Fake Antifa Flag Burning: After a mysterious figure on social media repeatedly boasted about plans antifa protesters supposedly had to converge on the Gettysburg battlefield on Independence Day to burn American flags - armed militia members, bikers and white nationalists turned up en masse July 4 to defend against the imaginary flag burning by leftists.

Wow, slow down all you macho weekend warriors - looks like the antifa boogeyman gotcha good. Why, it’s a miracle these pot-bellied, gun-toting, “Early Bird Special Forces" didn't form a circular firing squad - and start shooting each other in the name of “free-dumb.”

The truth be known, it’s a pretty safe bet that the only thing even close to combat most of these tattooed, 101st BarcaLounger Squadron warriors have ever seen - is fighting their way to the front of some buffet line.

I’ll tell you one thing, it’s lucky for them that the hoaxer didn’t suggest to these gullible half-wits, that the flag burning was going to place inside the mouth of an active volcano.

Anyway, that’s gotta be quite a let-down. I suppose that means it’s back to running around in the woods, playing grab-ass with the other storm-trooper wannabes. That said, it’s still kind of sad to think this 4th of July, the Gettysburg battlefield ended up completely littered with tons of white trash.

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Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles. In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.” When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now! Let’s get real. It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene. Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway. Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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