Asteroid Headed Toward Earth a Day Before the November Elections

Asteroid Headed Toward Earth a Day Before the November Elections: In case you haven’t had enough excitement this year, NASA just announced that an asteroid is headed towards Earth, and is expected to arrive one day before the U.S. elections take place in November, though it’s believed the probability of it actually hitting Earth is relatively small. In fact, even less than the Post Office delivering your mail-in ballot on time.

Really? Now, just what in the hell are we supposed to do about an asteroid heading our way? Hey, I got an idea! Wonder if the President could talk Putin into poisoning it? Either that, or have Trump break out one of his famous sharpies - and simply change the asteroid’s trajectory.

Anyway, not to be negative about 2020 or anything, but now humanity is gonna be forced to figure out how to rid ourselves of one big asteroid and one big asshole - and all in just 24 hours! And, while I’m certainly no expert on these matters, this sure like a job for “Space Force!”

In the meantime, it now appears two hurricanes are heading straight toward us - and at the same time! In addition, Death Valley just registered a temperature of 130F the other day, only two degrees below the “hottest temperature ever recorded on Earth.” Soooooo, I guess you can say, there’s at least been some good news in 2020.

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Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles. In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.” When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now! Let’s get real. It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene. Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway. Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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