Dr. Birx Says U.S. Has Entered a ‘New Phase’ of the Pandemic

Dr. Birx Says U.S. Has Entered a ‘New Phase’ of the Pandemic: Trump enabler and apologist Dr. Deborah Birx, the physician overseeing the White House coronavirus response, finally got the nerve Sunday to warn that the United States has entered a “new phase” of the pandemic and urged people to take extreme health precautions as infections and deaths are rising dramatically nationwide.

Gee, a new phase? How can this be a new phase? I mean, Trump still gets to play plenty of golf. OK, sooooo - what’s this new phase gonna be called, anyway? The “goodbye grandma, grandpa and school children phase?” Why, it’s almost as if this term they’re using “new phase,” is nothing more than a polite way of saying “this has really turned out to be a frigg’in disaster!”

Now, to be completely fair, I think Dr. Birx must simply have a different definition of the term “new phase.” To me, a “new phase” would mean Dr. Birx has finally decided she’s gonna live up to her Hippocratic oath, and not remain silent, while her con artist boss spews out misinformation about a coronavirus hoax, laser light cures and injecting bleach into the lungs.

To my way of thinking, it doesn’t exactly take a genius to figure out that virtually everything Trump touches dies a horrible death - and now, we can definitely include Dr. Birx's “reputation” among the victims.

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GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy: After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy? That’s one helluva threat! Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!” Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.” Alth...

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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