Hospitalized Trump Launches Eric and Don Jr Operation MAGA Tour

Hospitalized Trump Launches Eric and Don Jr Operation MAGA Tour: President Trump’s re-election campaign has just announced the launch of “Operation MAGA,” featuring Trump surrogates Eric, Don Jr, and Lara Trump, to carry the campaign forward until the President is finally able to return to the campaign trail once again.

Well, to be completely frank, I never quite understood the thinking behind holding such large, indoor rallies in really close quarters, without masks. I mean, forget about Covid-19, you’d think folks would wanna be masked and all spread out, just in case Trump lets one of those special “master race farts” of his - slide out into the room!

And, by the way, shouldn’t they really be calling this show “Operation Offspring - the Covid-19 Tour” instead? Geez, and just when you thought tractor pulls, the Kardashians, Roller Derby, mud wrestling and the Apprentice - were about as trashy as entertainment can possibly get!

Now, call me cynical, but I just don’t see lots and lots of folks, showing up for an “Eric Trump rally.” And if they do, you can be damn sure it was the buffet that drew them in. I can hear them now, “ we don't need no stinking sneeze guards.” Of course, in all fairness, I’m sure Eric’s message will be a huge hit among the President’s all-important meth-head demographic - so there's that.

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location: The White House and President Trump are raising eyebrows once again after they selected Donald Trump’s National Doral Resort Hotel as the “perfect location” for the next G7 summit while also suggesting President Trump plans to re-invite Russian President Vladimir Putin to the meeting. Well gee-whiz, what a lucky break for the Trump Resorts. I mean, who knew there was no other place in the entire United States that would be appropriate to hold a G7 summit other than a Trump property? Imagine that! Of course, at the rate Trump has been betraying all our friends and allies, by the time this conference actually rolls around - my guess is it’s likely only gonna be a G2 summit - with just Trump and Putin in attendance! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members: President Trump shocked reporters by telling them that he is hesitant to allow any Bahamians to enter the US after Hurricane Dorian, because the island is full of "bad gang members.” Right, “bad gang members.” That’s as opposed to all the “good gang members” who follow him. You know, like the KKK, the neo-Nazis and all those white-supremacist militia gangs. But come on, if Trump really thought that there’s all these “bad guys” roaming around in the Bahamas, you’d think he’d have invited them to meet with him at Camp David by now. That said, my guess is that about the only thing Donald Trump actually knows about the Bahamas is that it’s surrounded bigly, by a Yuge bunch of water. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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