Hospitalized Trump Launches Eric and Don Jr Operation MAGA Tour

Hospitalized Trump Launches Eric and Don Jr Operation MAGA Tour: President Trump’s re-election campaign has just announced the launch of “Operation MAGA,” featuring Trump surrogates Eric, Don Jr, and Lara Trump, to carry the campaign forward until the President is finally able to return to the campaign trail once again.

Well, to be completely frank, I never quite understood the thinking behind holding such large, indoor rallies in really close quarters, without masks. I mean, forget about Covid-19, you’d think folks would wanna be masked and all spread out, just in case Trump lets one of those special “master race farts” of his - slide out into the room!

And, by the way, shouldn’t they really be calling this show “Operation Offspring - the Covid-19 Tour” instead? Geez, and just when you thought tractor pulls, the Kardashians, Roller Derby, mud wrestling and the Apprentice - were about as trashy as entertainment can possibly get!

Now, call me cynical, but I just don’t see lots and lots of folks, showing up for an “Eric Trump rally.” And if they do, you can be damn sure it was the buffet that drew them in. I can hear them now, “ we don't need no stinking sneeze guards.” Of course, in all fairness, I’m sure Eric’s message will be a huge hit among the President’s all-important meth-head demographic - so there's that.

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Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Anti-Vax Newsmax Host Says Diseases are Supposed to Kill People

Conservative network Newsmax has been forced to “distance itself” from remarks uttered by host Rob Schmitt this week, who claimed that vaccines go "against nature" because diseases are "supposed to wipe out a certain amount of people,” and that vaccinations “unnaturally interfere with viruses' designs on killing people.” Wow, kinda looks like the “Schmitt” has really hit the fan over at Newsmax. So, they want to “distance” themselves from Schmitt’s remarks, do they? Gee, makes you wonder if the morons who run Newsmax know they actually have the option not hire anti-science nitwits like Schmitt as anchors in the first place? Not to worry though, should Schmitt get fired, I'm sure folks like Kevin McCarthy or Rand Paul would warmly welcome him to become part of their staffs. Of course, the truth is, what Schmitt is really promoting is “Social Darwinism.” Given that, I assume by the same logic he applies to vaccines, one may conclude that by warning people ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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