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Man Kills Waitress Who Asked Him to Extinguish His Cigarette

Man Kills Waitress Who Asked Him to Extinguish His Cigarette:  A Mississippi man is under arrest after police say he gunned down a Waffle House waitress who had simply asked him to put out his cigarette while he was inside the restaurant. 

Police are describing the incident as an open-and-shut case, adding that they’ve already recovered the “smoking” gun.  Meanwhile, an NRA spokesperson reminded reporters that “guns are not the problem here - waffles are.”  Health officials countered that this is just another example of how cigarettes can kill.  


Back at the restaurant, some local hunters were also chiming-in, and while not fully condoning the shooter’s behavior, they did point out that actions such as these are occasionally necessary in small, rural communities - in order to keep the local waitress population in check.  


An NRA spokesman then told the crowd that the obvious solution was to immediately arm all Waffle House waitresses throughout the state of Mississippi.  Now, I have no idea if arming waitresses would save lives, but I do know this - an armed waitress is definitely gonna make a helluva lot more in tips. 


Meanwhile, the Trump campaign quickly issued a statement, reminding supporters that incidents such as shooting waitresses should not distract us from our main focus, which is scapegoating immigrants and the medical community, for making us wear masks.


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