NC Townsfolk Fear Solar Farm Might Suck Up All the Sun’s Light

NC Townsfolk Fear Solar Farm Might Suck Up All the Sun’s Light: Angry residents of the North Carolina town of Woodland, have voted in a town council meeting to kill a proposed solar farm project in their area, out of fear that the solar panels would suck up all of the sun’s energy - thereby killing-off all local plant life, by preventing photosynthesis.

Wow, disaster narrowly averted! Thank goodness the citizens of this community were able to put their 3rd grade educations to good use and fight back against these damnable, sun-sucking, solar panels!

Shortly after the council’s vote, jubilant Woodland citizens were then treated to a celebratory concert, featuring dueling banjos at the local chapter of the Flat Earth Society, just down the road.

And, while most townsfolk seemed happy with the vote, others expressed grave concerns about other hidden dangers, such as “shadows" and "Daylight Saving Time,” which could also pose a treat to photosynthesis - adding it might just be time to ban them too.

Why, it’s almost enough to make you think all this so-called “American Exceptionalism” the President is always bragging about, is just another euphemism for “exceptional stupidity.” I tell ya, all this nonsense about sun-sucking-solar-panels is really starting to “burn me up.” Anyway, in other news from the 12th century…

https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Comments

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War: In a fiery speech, arguing that impeachment would disenfranchise Donald Trump’s supporters, defense lawyer David Schoen is being harshly criticized for his thinly veiled threat - warning that impeaching the former president could very well result in even more violence from Donald Trump’s easily enraged base. So, if I understand Schoen’s argument correctly, it sounds as if he’s implying that “if you bring Trump to trial, then that angry, violent mob who attacked the Capitol, wanting to hang Vice President Pence and kill various members of Congress, might get really, really mad again - and there will be reprisals.” You know, we’re talking stuff like ”Nice country you have here - be a damn shame if something were to happen to it!” In other words, Schoen’s trying to incite violence, in defense of a man who’s facing trial - over inciting violence. They don’t teach you that in law school. Now, is it jus...

Former Trump National Security Advisor Warns ‘Deep State’ Putting COVID Vaccine in Salad Dressing

Former Trump National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, who was fired and then prosecuted for lying to the FBI about his contacts with Russia before being ultimately pardoned by Trump, is now sliding further into the QAnon conspiracy world, telling the hosts of an online show dedicated to COVID and election fraud conspiracies - that he has heard the “Deep State” is attempting to “sneak coronavirus vaccine into salad dressing.” Now, I have no idea where Gen. Flynn got this information, but my guess is it was probably a text from Mike Lindell or Rudy Giuliani, alerting him to the “hidden dangers of salad dressing.” Or, it could have been Nicki Minaj for all I know. After all, she does have another cousin who has a friend in Timbuktu. Word on the street has it the “Deep State” will initially start with “Ranch Dressing” to vaccinate the cowboys, then move on to “Russian Dressing,” to get the rest of Trump’s supporters. Anyway, I hate to rain on Gen. Flynn’s conspiracy the...

Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

You've Got to Be Kidding?

Search This Blog