NC Townsfolk Fear Solar Farm Might Suck Up All the Sun’s Light

NC Townsfolk Fear Solar Farm Might Suck Up All the Sun’s Light: Angry residents of the North Carolina town of Woodland, have voted in a town council meeting to kill a proposed solar farm project in their area, out of fear that the solar panels would suck up all of the sun’s energy - thereby killing-off all local plant life, by preventing photosynthesis.

Wow, disaster narrowly averted! Thank goodness the citizens of this community were able to put their 3rd grade educations to good use and fight back against these damnable, sun-sucking, solar panels!

Shortly after the council’s vote, jubilant Woodland citizens were then treated to a celebratory concert, featuring dueling banjos at the local chapter of the Flat Earth Society, just down the road.

And, while most townsfolk seemed happy with the vote, others expressed grave concerns about other hidden dangers, such as “shadows" and "Daylight Saving Time,” which could also pose a treat to photosynthesis - adding it might just be time to ban them too.

Why, it’s almost enough to make you think all this so-called “American Exceptionalism” the President is always bragging about, is just another euphemism for “exceptional stupidity.” I tell ya, all this nonsense about sun-sucking-solar-panels is really starting to “burn me up.” Anyway, in other news from the 12th century…

https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Comments

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War: In a fiery speech, arguing that impeachment would disenfranchise Donald Trump’s supporters, defense lawyer David Schoen is being harshly criticized for his thinly veiled threat - warning that impeaching the former president could very well result in even more violence from Donald Trump’s easily enraged base. So, if I understand Schoen’s argument correctly, it sounds as if he’s implying that “if you bring Trump to trial, then that angry, violent mob who attacked the Capitol, wanting to hang Vice President Pence and kill various members of Congress, might get really, really mad again - and there will be reprisals.” You know, we’re talking stuff like ”Nice country you have here - be a damn shame if something were to happen to it!” In other words, Schoen’s trying to incite violence, in defense of a man who’s facing trial - over inciting violence. They don’t teach you that in law school. Now, is it jus...

Scientists Monitoring Near-Earth Asteroid 99942 Apophis

Scientists Monitoring Near-Earth Asteroid 99942 Apophis: Scientists meeting this week at the 2019 Planetary Defense Conference, say they’re monitoring the 99942 Apophis asteroid which will be coming within 20,000 miles (33,000 kilometers) of the Earth’s surface in just 10 years. The thing is, by the year 2029, Trump will likely be settling into his 4th term - so if an asteroid suddenly threatens to destroy the Earth, my guess is that after 16 years of Trump, no one will really much care. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com Oldest Human Footprint Found in the Americas Confirmed in Chile: Researchers say a 15,600-year old footprint discovered by a student in southern Chile is believed to be the oldest human footprint ever found in the Americas. Oddly enough, scientists say the footprint appears to be that of someone wearing size 12 Bruno Magli shoes, but because it’s from well over 15K years ago - they’re rather doubtful it has any connection to t...

Trump Returns to Do White House Coronavirus Briefings Solo

Trump Returns to Do White House Coronavirus Briefings Solo: Three months after he abandoned the daily virus briefings and attempted to turn the country’s attention to what he described as the “great American comeback,” President Trump took the lectern in the White House briefing room alone on Tuesday, free to say whatever he wanted without any distractions from the usual bunch “sciencey nerds” behind him. And, in a rare moment of candor, Trump reluctantly admitted that the spread of the coronavirus will likely get worse before it gets better, and that people should probably wear masks. Well said Mr President! The fact is, most of us are already rather optimistic things will begin to get better - sometime after November 3rd. Ironically, now that Trump is finally admitting the virus is spreading fast and that people should wear masks, you’d think most of those armed militia thugs, whom Trump egged on to to out and “liberate” those Democratic run states from t...

You've Got to Be Kidding?

Search This Blog