Skip to main content

Televangelist Claims Sex with Cows Will Be Legal If Biden Wins


Televangelist Claims Sex with Cows Will Be Legal If Biden Wins:  Televangelist Frank Amedia, is warning followers that they’d better vote for Donald Trump and the Republicans in the upcoming election, or Joe Biden’s liberal agenda will take hold and the next thing you know, everyone will be having “perverse sex with cows.

Now, some of you may laugh, but I get his point.  As a bona fide “Donald Trump Christian,” Pastor Amedia feels we need to take the country back to its moral foundations.  You know, back to the days when we had respect for the institution of marriage, and men only cheated on their wives - not on their livestock!  


Come to think of it, guess that pretty much explains why conservatives are always advocating for “herd immunity.”  I mean, let us not forget that Mary had a little lamb.  The last thing Mary needs now, is for some liberal like Joe Biden to steer her toward other barnyard animals.


Now, what I don’t get is, why evangelicals are so worried Biden’s gonna try and hook us all up with cows, yet they ignore the fact that Melania is actually married to a damn pig.  Don’t they understand her reputation’s at steak?  Anyway, I’d better quit while I’m ahead - otherwise, I’m likely to continue milking this joke, till the cows come home.


Johnny Robish Comedy


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Mocks Honest Abe During His Dallas Rally

Trump Mocks Honest Abe During His Dallas Rally:  President Donald Trump once again shocked critics by mocking Abraham Lincoln during his latest rally in Dallas, telling followers he would never be as presidential as "Honest Abe Lincoln when he's wearing that hat," adding that to be presidential like Lincoln - "all you have to do is act like a stiff.”  He then proceeded to mimic “a stiff,” by buttoning his blazer, speaking in a monotonous voice, and claiming that someone as boring as Lincoln could never win Texas. Wait a minute, that’s just crazy!  You’re telling me Donald Trump can actually button-up his blazer?  Wow, who could have ever seen that coming?  Anyway, Trump’s definitely right about one thing, the word “honest” will NEVER be used to describe Donald Trump - or his presidency. Of course, trying to compare Donald Trump to Abraham Lincoln is simply ridiculous, no matter how you look at it.  I mean, you’d have to go back a helluva lot furt...
Post a Comment
Read more

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal:   Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike?  Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death.  Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this.   On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com
Post a Comment
Read more

Donald Trump Sporting Slick New Hairdo for UK Visit

Donald Trump Sporting Slick New Hairdo for UK Visit:   US President Donald Trump is showing off a shockingly new slicked-back hairdo, as he prepares to meet with the Queen during his first official state visit to the UK. Good God?  What the hell is that all about?  Is he trying to bring back the mullet?  Either that, or he’s secretly planning on entering a Gary Busey lookalike contest as soon as he gets to London. My guess is, he’s trying to put on his best bohunk sexy look for his meetup with the queen.  One thing’s for sure, he now actually looks exactly like the greasy, mob slime ball he tries to act like.  Maybe he figures that if he ever does get impeached, when they come to get him, no one will be able to recognize him.  But hell, even if he does get impeached, he’ll have nothing to worry as far as getting a job.  I mean, what respectable La Vegas used car lot wouldn’t wanna hire a guy who looks like that? https://ww...
Post a Comment
Read more