Televangelist Claims Sex with Cows Will Be Legal If Biden Wins

Televangelist Claims Sex with Cows Will Be Legal If Biden Wins: Televangelist Frank Amedia, is warning followers that they’d better vote for Donald Trump and the Republicans in the upcoming election, or Joe Biden’s liberal agenda will take hold and the next thing you know, everyone will be having “perverse sex with cows.

Now, some of you may laugh, but I get his point. As a bona fide “Donald Trump Christian,” Pastor Amedia feels we need to take the country back to its moral foundations. You know, back to the days when we had respect for the institution of marriage, and men only cheated on their wives - not on their livestock!

Come to think of it, guess that pretty much explains why conservatives are always advocating for “herd immunity.” I mean, let us not forget that Mary had a little lamb. The last thing Mary needs now, is for some liberal like Joe Biden to steer her toward other barnyard animals.

Now, what I don’t get is, why evangelicals are so worried Biden’s gonna try and hook us all up with cows, yet they ignore the fact that Melania is actually married to a damn pig. Don’t they understand her reputation’s at steak? Anyway, I’d better quit while I’m ahead - otherwise, I’m likely to continue milking this joke, till the cows come home.

Johnny Robish Comedy

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Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles. In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.” When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now! Let’s get real. It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene. Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway. Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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