Skip to main content

Alligator Bites Off Arm of Florida Man Fleeing Police


Alligator Bites Off Arm of Florida Man Fleeing Police: 
Police in Lakeland, Florida, are searching for an alligator that bit off the hand and forearm of a man who was attempting to elude authorities by running into a lake.

Gee, now I wonder why they’d be looking for the poor alligator?  Do they need it to make a statement or something?  I mean, this is Florida - and the gator was just taking a bite out of crime.  


Hell, the cops didn't even have to disarm the guy - the gator took care of that.  Wonder how the hell the cop managed to handcuff a guy with one arm?  Someone must have lent him a hand.  Sounds like the cops may as well just exchange their K9 police dogs - for alligators.


Meanwhile, some are making the argument that the gator’s actions actually constitute a form of arm robbery in and of itself, but we’ll have to wait and see where the scales of justice fall on that one. 


Of course, this incident does raise some valid legal questions.  For example, was the gator properly deputized, and did it infringe on the man’s right to bear arms?  All we really know is, he was not fully armed when police finally caught him.


Johnny Robish Comedy



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War:  In a fiery speech, arguing that impeachment would disenfranchise Donald Trump’s supporters, defense lawyer David Schoen is being harshly criticized for his thinly veiled threat - warning that impeaching the former president could very well result in even more violence from Donald Trump’s easily enraged base. So, if I understand Schoen’s argument correctly, it sounds as if he’s implying that “if you bring Trump to trial, then that angry, violent mob who attacked the Capitol, wanting to hang Vice President Pence and kill various members of Congress, might get really, really mad again - and there will be reprisals.”   You know, we’re talking stuff like ”Nice country you have here - be a damn shame if something were to happen to it!”  In other words, Schoen’s trying to incite violence, in defense of a man who’s facing trial - over inciting violence.  They don’t teach you that in law school.   Now, is it jus...

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base:  Using tactics such as plastic straws, wind turbines, bogus conspiracy theories and race-baiting, White House aides freely admit that Donald Trump has been deliberately attempting to amplify public tensions in America by seizing on divisive issues as a means to energize his explosively angry base. Now, I know what some of you are thinking - you’re thinking “now this, is the last straw!”  Well, before you attack the “straw man,” remember that Donald Trump was that kid in school who thought it was simply hilarious to jam two straws up his nostrils.  Straws were an important part of Donald’s childhood, so it shouldn’t be a big surprise they remain so today.     What all you “elites" don’t understand is that Trump folks are all about fighting for “freedom.”  You know, the freedom to be morbidly obese, the freedom to destroy the environment, the freedom to live without affordable healt...

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence:   After declaring Roger Stone a victim of the “Russia hoax” perpetuated by the Left and its allies in the media, President Trump has commuted the three-year prison criminal sentence for the Republican operative and dirty trickster, who was due to report to federal prison on Tuesday after being found guilty of obstruction, witness tampering and lying to Congress. Good grief, is it my imagination, or has Trump actually just pardoned the real-life version of the Monopoly guy?  I mean, Stone is a villain right out of Charles Dickens.  Why, this is an act so corrupt, it’s almost enough to make Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin blush. Now, I’m no legal expert, but it appears what the Trump Administration is basically arguing is that - someone shouldn’t be punished for committing a crime which “they really should’ve gotten away with.”  And while that may sound a bit odd to the rest of us, that kind of thinking makes go...