Trump Claims the Medical Deep State Sabotaged His Election

Trump Claims the Medical Deep State Sabotaged His Election: President Trump reportedly flew into a rage, lashing out at his own Food and Drug Administration following an announcement six days after the election, that an experimental coronavirus vaccine from pharmaceutical giant Pfizer is more than 90% effective, claiming this proves the “medical deep state” deliberately tried to sabotage his electoral prospects by delaying the results till after the election.

I can see the President’s point here. After all, everyone knows the pharmaceutical industry has always been a seething, hotbed of left-wing, socialist debauchery. Gee, I wonder if this is the same “medical deep state” that saved his ass when he got Covid-19 a month or so ago? I guess it’s time for Rudy to hold another press conference at Pfizer Total Landscaping, and get to the bottom of this mess.

The funny thing is, you’d assume a President would be applauding the fact we may finally have a vaccine that could save millions of lives - but our President’s only concern is the timing of the announcement and its possible implications for his reelection. Of course, to be completely fair, it really wasn’t very nice of all those 245,000 Covid-19 victims to up and die like that - just to make the President look bad.

That said, the truth be known Mr. President, even if Pfizer had announced a cure for the coronavirus, cancer, heart disease, herpes simplex 2, or even athlete’s foot many months ago - I still wouldn't have voted for you. Frankly, if these election results really are the work of a “medical deep state,” then I say “thank you medical deep state!” Thank you, for finally ridding us of these 300 pounds of disgusting, self-indulgent narcissism - all stuffed into a $5,500 suit.

Johnny Robish Comedy

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GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

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Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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