Trump Suggests the FBI Involved in Stealing the Election

Trump Suggests the FBI Involved in Stealing the Election: In an interview with Fox News host Maria Bartiromo, President Trump repeated his usual false narrative about voter fraud, suggesting that dead voters, the FBI and even his own Department of Justice - may have all been “involved” in stealing the election from him.

Gee, so Trump’s claiming he lost the election because millions of dead people voted? Holy Cow! That must mean Trump is one of those rare beings who can say “I see dead voters!” Why, to think those savvy QAnon folks tried to warn us about dead voters months ago - and no one would listen. Guess we were dead wrong.

Anyway, needless to say, I was rather shocked to hear that dead people were committing voter fraud, so I rang up a friend of mine who I knew had volunteered as a poll worker, and she assured me that about the closest thing she’d ever seen to dead people voting, were the braindead zombies in the red MAGA hats voting for Trump.

Anyway, so now he thinks the FBI was involved in all this? Well, come to think of it, I never really trusted that Efrem Zimbalist Jr. very much either. But, all these Trump appointees secretly plotting to throw the election to Biden? Come on man! Now, of course - if Kanye West had actually won the election, well then maybe…

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Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Ordered by Jury to Pay E. Jean Carroll $83 Million

In his second trial in less than a year on the matter, a civil jury in Manhattan took only three hours to decide that disgraced former President Trump must pay $83.3 million in punitive and compensatory damages to rape victim and writer E. Jean Carroll in a drama that began in the dressing room of a New York City department store back in 1995. Gee whiz, $83 million? Seems it turns out that even “when you're a star, they don't always let you do it.” Anyway, so the Orange God used his big fat mouth to talk his way out of a $5 million judgment - and right into an $83 million judgment. Now, that really takes some skill! Talk about “The Art of the Deal!” I’m totally impressed. Why, its almost as if Mr. Trump and his militant, useless attorney don’t fully comprehend the basic point of “punitive damages.” I mean, at this point, Trump defames Ms. Carroll so frequently, she’s almost gonna need to put up an electronic signboard to alert the court abo...

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