Trump Suggests the FBI Involved in Stealing the Election

Trump Suggests the FBI Involved in Stealing the Election: In an interview with Fox News host Maria Bartiromo, President Trump repeated his usual false narrative about voter fraud, suggesting that dead voters, the FBI and even his own Department of Justice - may have all been “involved” in stealing the election from him.

Gee, so Trump’s claiming he lost the election because millions of dead people voted? Holy Cow! That must mean Trump is one of those rare beings who can say “I see dead voters!” Why, to think those savvy QAnon folks tried to warn us about dead voters months ago - and no one would listen. Guess we were dead wrong.

Anyway, needless to say, I was rather shocked to hear that dead people were committing voter fraud, so I rang up a friend of mine who I knew had volunteered as a poll worker, and she assured me that about the closest thing she’d ever seen to dead people voting, were the braindead zombies in the red MAGA hats voting for Trump.

Anyway, so now he thinks the FBI was involved in all this? Well, come to think of it, I never really trusted that Efrem Zimbalist Jr. very much either. But, all these Trump appointees secretly plotting to throw the election to Biden? Come on man! Now, of course - if Kanye West had actually won the election, well then maybe…

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Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles. In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.” When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now! Let’s get real. It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene. Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway. Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Spa Founder Sold Chinese Businessmen Access to President Trump

Spa Founder Sold Chinese Businessmen Access to President Trump: Just days after it was reported that the former owner and founder of the infamous Florida day spa busted in a high-profile prostitution ring attended President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Super Bowl party, a new report has surfaced that the same Li Yang is also running a company that sells Chinese clients access to President Trump and members of his administration. Which may be true, but word on the street has it that a lot of customers are quite upset after they paid extra for the “Presidential Package” - only to discover just how puny that package really is. Of course, spa owner Li Yang will argue that she was simply trying to offer Trump and his Chinese business partners a “helping hand.” Very slick! I mean, these are the kind of schemes that I bet would make even John Gotti envious. Well, Trump did promise during the campaign that he would run the count...

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