Trump Suggests the FBI Involved in Stealing the Election

Trump Suggests the FBI Involved in Stealing the Election: In an interview with Fox News host Maria Bartiromo, President Trump repeated his usual false narrative about voter fraud, suggesting that dead voters, the FBI and even his own Department of Justice - may have all been “involved” in stealing the election from him.

Gee, so Trump’s claiming he lost the election because millions of dead people voted? Holy Cow! That must mean Trump is one of those rare beings who can say “I see dead voters!” Why, to think those savvy QAnon folks tried to warn us about dead voters months ago - and no one would listen. Guess we were dead wrong.

Anyway, needless to say, I was rather shocked to hear that dead people were committing voter fraud, so I rang up a friend of mine who I knew had volunteered as a poll worker, and she assured me that about the closest thing she’d ever seen to dead people voting, were the braindead zombies in the red MAGA hats voting for Trump.

Anyway, so now he thinks the FBI was involved in all this? Well, come to think of it, I never really trusted that Efrem Zimbalist Jr. very much either. But, all these Trump appointees secretly plotting to throw the election to Biden? Come on man! Now, of course - if Kanye West had actually won the election, well then maybe…

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Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Anti-Vax Newsmax Host Says Diseases are Supposed to Kill People

Conservative network Newsmax has been forced to “distance itself” from remarks uttered by host Rob Schmitt this week, who claimed that vaccines go "against nature" because diseases are "supposed to wipe out a certain amount of people,” and that vaccinations “unnaturally interfere with viruses' designs on killing people.” Wow, kinda looks like the “Schmitt” has really hit the fan over at Newsmax. So, they want to “distance” themselves from Schmitt’s remarks, do they? Gee, makes you wonder if the morons who run Newsmax know they actually have the option not hire anti-science nitwits like Schmitt as anchors in the first place? Not to worry though, should Schmitt get fired, I'm sure folks like Kevin McCarthy or Rand Paul would warmly welcome him to become part of their staffs. Of course, the truth is, what Schmitt is really promoting is “Social Darwinism.” Given that, I assume by the same logic he applies to vaccines, one may conclude that by warning people ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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