Angry Trump Intensifying Efforts to Challenge Election Results

Angry Trump Intensifying Efforts to Challenge Election Results: While the deadly coronavirus rages on out of control, President Trump’s focus has been to intensify his efforts to overturn the election, proposing a series of radical measures - including declaring martial law and military intervention, seizing voting machines, and attempting yet another bogus appeal to the Supreme Court. To accomplish this aim, the President has been meeting with close confidants, such as disgraced former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn and his conspiracy theorist attorney Sidney Powell, his personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani and Sen-elect Tommy Tuberville (R-Ala.), who plans to challenge the electoral vote count when the House and Senate convene on Jan. 6 to formally affirm President-elect Joe Biden’s victory.

Additionally, but not fully confirmed, sources are reporting that the President has also been privately consulting with attorney Jackie Chiles, the former Seinfeld character from season 7,8, and 9, who successfully sued the Java World Coffee Company for Cosmo Kramer, as well as an unnamed John Grisham character, with the hope that their slick lawyer talk may be able to once again work its magic and award Mr. Trump four more years in the White House.

Meanwhile, folks close to the President say the vibe in the White House is starting to feel more like Hitler's bunker with the allied forces closing in, than the “People’s House.” The only possible exception being Melania, who has no intention of becoming the next Eva Braun. Why, when the do-do hits the fan, you can bet she’ll have Barron, her fancy designer clothes, jewelry, shoes, and prenup all neatly packed - and ready to get the hell outta Dodge to spend whatever the hell is left of that Trump money, before Deutsche Bank and the Russian mob can get a hold of it.

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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