DOJ Reportedly Investigating White House Pay for Pardons Scheme

DOJ Reportedly Investigating White House Pay for Pardons Scheme: CNN and the New York Times are reporting that the Dept. of Justice has been investigating a bribery scheme that involves the possible purchase of Presidential pardons, a potential crime related to the funneling of money into the White House or a related political committee, in exchange for presidential pardons.

Oh, for crying out loud! What’s the big deal anyway? Why, the Catholic Church used to sell indulgences back in the Middle Ages all the time, and Donald Trump, being the extremely religious and pious man that he is - is simply trying to bring back the practice. Why, I’m pretty sure you can even find a Biblical reference to it in “Two Corinthians.”

Meanwhile, some are complaining that the Trump Administration is basically letting Rome burn while the economy is tanking and the deadly coronavirus blazes on. All of which may be true, but this investigation shows that even so, the White House is still “wide open for business.” Why, they’ve even installed a cash register in the Oval Office.

Of course, others may conclude this whole thing smacks of bribery. Perhaps, but let’s remember that under Republican leadership, bribery isn’t really a crime - it’s called "free enterprise.” Well, not to worry, I’m sure Rudy’ll explain everything at his next news conference - over there in front of the Four Seasons Total Bail Bonds storefront office.

In the meantime, for all you loyal Donald Trump fans, it looks like we may have just found ourselves a little preview of Donald Trump’s next post-Presidential reality TV show. It’ll be called - “Dollars for Pardons” and the theme song will be “I Begged Your Pardon, Now Can We Sign It in the Rose Garden?”

Johnny Robish Comedy

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Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War: In a fiery speech, arguing that impeachment would disenfranchise Donald Trump’s supporters, defense lawyer David Schoen is being harshly criticized for his thinly veiled threat - warning that impeaching the former president could very well result in even more violence from Donald Trump’s easily enraged base. So, if I understand Schoen’s argument correctly, it sounds as if he’s implying that “if you bring Trump to trial, then that angry, violent mob who attacked the Capitol, wanting to hang Vice President Pence and kill various members of Congress, might get really, really mad again - and there will be reprisals.” You know, we’re talking stuff like ”Nice country you have here - be a damn shame if something were to happen to it!” In other words, Schoen’s trying to incite violence, in defense of a man who’s facing trial - over inciting violence. They don’t teach you that in law school. Now, is it jus...

Former Trump National Security Advisor Warns ‘Deep State’ Putting COVID Vaccine in Salad Dressing

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Elon Musk Calls for the Prosecution of Anthony Fauci

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