Michigan Pastor Tells Parishioners to Deliberately Get Covid-19

Michigan Pastor Tells Parishioners to Deliberately Get Covid-19: Michigan pastor Bart Spencer of the Lighthouse Baptist Church, is facing a major backlash following a sermon he recently gave, in which he told his congregation to deliberately contract COVID-19 to “get it over with.” He then added that "Some of you may die, but that's a risk I'm willing to take."

Oh yeah, right! In fact, this reminds me of the time when Jesus saw the leper lying helplessly by the side of the road and, instead of healing him - told everyone in the crowd that they should try and get leprosy also - just to “get it over with.”

You know, it’s kind of funny too because - I always assumed that Christians were supposed to help those in need, not kill them. But - like it or not, it’s apparently all right there in the Bible. No, not the King James version, but the “Trump Bible.”

And, if you act quickly, you can pick up a special edition of the new “Trump Bible,” which now comes with a detailed Trump-to-English translation, designed to make it easier for those who don’t speak fluent Trump to understand.

That said, I have to admit, I’m still a wee bit concerned. Of course, I’m certainly no doctor or medical expert, but I have a really strong feeling that, if these folks decide to follow through on Pastor Spencer’s advice, there’s a very real danger, that they’ll end up testing positive - for STUPID.

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GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy: After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy? That’s one helluva threat! Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!” Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.” Alth...

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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