Skip to main content

Pastor Cries And Begs God To Make Trump President Again


Pastor Cries And Begs God To Make Trump President Again:
  During a livestream broadcast earlier this week, Trump-loving televangelist Pastor Robert Henderson, who earlier this year had claimed his prayers had caused the death of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg - this time cried and begged God that he was “petitioning the courts of heaven” to overturn the 2020 election, so that Donald Trump “shall be reseated as President of the United States of America.”

So, Pastor Henderson’s been claiming his prayers were responsible for Justice Ginsburg’s death?  Well then, Pastor Henderson - you’re under arrest, for the murder of Ruth Bader Ginsburg.  You have the right to remain silent - but of course, as we all know, there’s a fat chance that’ll ever happen.


And now, to top things off, you’ve been petitioning God to overturn the entire 2020 US election results?  Now, I’m certainly no lawyer or legal scholar, but isn’t that called soliciting a non-citizen to interfere in the US election process?  


But, all that aside, his petition may be just a tad bit too late.  For you see, word on the street has it - God is already on Christmas break and won’t be back until well after the first of the year.  Well gee, then what’s a greedy, manipulative pastor to do?  I don’t think Santa handles political requests.  


Hey, I’ve got a great idea.  How about Pastor Henderson fast until January 20, 2021?  Hell, if fasting over Christmas doesn’t impress God, I don’t know what will?  In the meantime, a very well-fed rest of us, will be sending out our “Thoughts and Prayers” to the good pastor and his loyal flock.


Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War:  In a fiery speech, arguing that impeachment would disenfranchise Donald Trump’s supporters, defense lawyer David Schoen is being harshly criticized for his thinly veiled threat - warning that impeaching the former president could very well result in even more violence from Donald Trump’s easily enraged base. So, if I understand Schoen’s argument correctly, it sounds as if he’s implying that “if you bring Trump to trial, then that angry, violent mob who attacked the Capitol, wanting to hang Vice President Pence and kill various members of Congress, might get really, really mad again - and there will be reprisals.”   You know, we’re talking stuff like ”Nice country you have here - be a damn shame if something were to happen to it!”  In other words, Schoen’s trying to incite violence, in defense of a man who’s facing trial - over inciting violence.  They don’t teach you that in law school.   Now, is it jus...

Trump Returns to Do White House Coronavirus Briefings Solo

Trump Returns to Do White House Coronavirus Briefings Solo:  Three months after he abandoned the daily virus briefings and attempted to turn the country’s attention to what he described as the “great American comeback,” President Trump took the lectern in the White House briefing room alone on Tuesday, free to say whatever he wanted without any distractions from the usual bunch “sciencey nerds” behind him. And, in a rare moment of candor, Trump reluctantly admitted that the spread of the coronavirus will likely get worse before it gets better, and that people should probably wear masks.  Well said Mr President!  The fact is, most of us are already rather optimistic things will begin to get better - sometime after November 3rd. Ironically, now that Trump is finally admitting the virus is spreading fast and that people should wear masks, you’d think most of those armed militia thugs, whom Trump egged on to to out and “liberate” those Democratic run states from t...

Scientists Monitoring Near-Earth Asteroid 99942 Apophis

Scientists Monitoring Near-Earth Asteroid 99942 Apophis:   Scientists meeting this week at the 2019 Planetary Defense Conference, say they’re monitoring the 99942 Apophis asteroid which will be coming within 20,000 miles (33,000 kilometers) of the Earth’s surface in just 10 years.  The thing is, by the year 2029, Trump will likely be settling into his 4th term - so if an asteroid suddenly threatens to destroy the Earth, my guess is that after 16 years of Trump, no one will really much care. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com  Oldest Human Footprint Found in the Americas Confirmed in Chile:   Researchers say a 15,600-year old footprint discovered by a student in southern Chile is believed to be the oldest human footprint ever found in the Americas.  Oddly enough, scientists say the footprint appears to be that of someone wearing size 12 Bruno Magli shoes, but because it’s from well over 15K years ago - they’re rather doubtful it has any connection to t...