Pat Robertson Claims Texas Election Lawsuit Part of God’s Master Plan

Pat Robertson Claims Texas Election Lawsuit Part of God’s Master Plan: Televangelist Pat Robertson recently told viewers of his popular 700 Club program, that the Texas lawsuit aimed at overturning the 2020 election in favor of Donald Trump - is all part of God’s master plan.

Really? You know, sometimes I could swear Pat Robertson just says shit like that, because he enjoys hearing the sound of his creepy voice, bouncing off those vacant walls - throughout his empty head. I mean, just think about it. If God ultimately wanted Trump to be President, then why have Biden win in the first place?

Of course, any Trump supporter can tell you it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why God would have let Biden win the election - George Soros probably got to him. Which makes me wonder, if this bogus lawsuit by the Texas AG ends up going up in flames like all the others before it - must we therefore conclude, that God is now part of the “deep state?”

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Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles. In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.” When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now! Let’s get real. It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene. Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway. Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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