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Lawsuit Claims Subway Tuna Sandwich Has No Tuna


Lawsuit Claims Subway Tuna Sandwich Has No Tuna:
  NBC News is reporting that a lawsuit that’s been filed in U.S. District Court in Northern California, claims that the ingredient billed as “tuna” for the Subway chain’s sandwiches and wraps, contains no tuna at all.  That conclusion, based upon independent lab tests, which found that the “tuna” is actually “a mixture of various concoctions that do not constitute tuna,” that are all blended together by Subway - in an attempt to “imitate” the appearance of tuna.

So, if I’m understanding this lawsuit correctly, they’re alleging that what Subway is selling is what can only be described as the “Melania Trump of tuna sandwiches?”  Now, I’m certainly no chemist, but judging from taste alone, my guess is that Subway “tuna” is actually a hearty combination of approximately 35% mayo, 32% salt, and 33% IAMS Hairball & Indoor Weight Control Cat Food.


Now, for those of you thinking this is just another frivolous lawsuit, remember it wasn’t all that long ago when another lawsuit revealed that Subway's bread actually contained Azodicarbonamide - a foaming agent used in plastic production for products like yoga mats.  Hell, you’d think they’d have at least had the decency to give customers a free pass to “YogaWorks” with every sandwich purchased.


Of course, the truth be known, Subway customers pretty much understand that their sandwiches are gonna be simply a cheap hunk of dried-out bread, with loads of iceberg lettuce and a few elderly tomato slices, along with a small amount of “something” splattered somewhere in the middle of it all.  


Now, my guess is, that most Subway customers don’t really go there with high expectations, although if they’re completely honest, many would likely admit to being quite “high” when they made the decision to eat at Subway in the first place - and in my mind - that ought to count for something.


Johnny Robish Comedy

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