Militias and Evangelicals Planning Jericho March to Keep Trump in Power

Militias and Evangelicals Planning Jericho March to Keep Trump in Power: January 6th is the day Congress formally counts the electoral college votes, but evangelicals, militia groups, and various other Trump loyalists, are busy organizing a last-ditch attempt to stop Joe Biden from assuming the presidency, by converging on Washington DC in an armed march, to blow horns, fast, and pray for a miracle - that God will overturn the 2020 presidential election results.

Now, I get that these folks want a dictatorship and a theocracy to rule this country, but what I don’t get is - why in the hell would they decide they want that dictator - to be Donald Trump?

I mean, the guy’s a pampered, incompetent, man/child narcissist, who prefers spending his time watching cable TV and playing golf rather than working, not to mention he’s also a notorious liar and a sleazy grifter, who’s actually billions of dollars in debt to foreign interests. Now, wait a minute! Why, I think I’ve just answered my own question.

So, get ready for another grand showcasing from the patients of that open mental ward we often refer to as “Red State America.” One thing’s for sure, by the time you start mixing all those fanatical evangelicals, QAnon folks, anti-vaxxers, Proud Boys, and Boogaloos altogether in one spot - the place is gonna look and smell more like the sewers have overflowed, than it does a political and religious rally.

Hell, you’d think instead of trying to overturn an election that’s already been decided numerous times by the courts, they’d pursue something that’s more of a sure shot - you know, like convincing good old Mitch McConnell to approve commissioning a statue honoring Kyle Rittenhouse and positioning it front and center in the US Capitol rotunda.

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GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy: After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy? That’s one helluva threat! Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!” Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.” Alth...

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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